Pictures

I added the some of the pictures of my surprise party and some of the tattoos. Will update when I get more. Enjoy!

Christmas, family, tattoos, and surprises. What a great combination!

Here it is Sunday night again and I've neglected to post since last week. So much has happened, too. What a shame. Let me recap the past week for you.

Shelley and Eric left early this morning to drive back to Colorado. We had so much fun while they were here. Shell and I spent the majority of our time together and left Matt and Eric to fend for themselves. While they were out playing golf and pool, we shopped, went to a movie (the last movie we saw together in a theater was Never Been Kissed circa 1999), baked cookies, got our hair done, gossiped and ate and drank lots. I have lots of pictures I intend on posting soon. Shelley cut off all her hair to donate to Locks of Love. I have all of those pics so I went ahead and posted them. This was also the first Christmas we've spent together in over 10 years.

I wrote last week that the plan was to get tattoos on Friday. Well...we did. Here's what happened: my dad and his wife, Olga, came over to my house on Friday for our Christmas. At the house were me, Matt, Shelley, Eric, Bryan, Melony, Mom, and my aunt, Karola. All of a sudden, our dogs start going nuts. I finally went to look out the front door and see 2 stray dogs standing in our yard. Shelley, Melony and Matt all want to open the door to see the dogs. I'm very opposed to this suggestion because of Phoebe, who plows at the glass door and usually manages to get it open. We've already had one bloody Christmas involving the dogs...I didn't want another. Finally, ignoring my logical suggestion, Shelley and Mel open the door and standing there (with their dogs) are my aunt, Marsha, cousins Lindsey and Travis and Lindsey's boyfriend, Troy. They drove down from Colorado to surprise me! Which, I might add, they did and did very well. I was told they came down to get tattoos with us. There really was another reason why, but I'll get to that. So we wrap up Christmas with Dad and head to Randy Adams.

Going are me, Matt, Mom, Melony, Shelley, Eric, Karola, Marsha, Travis, Lindsey and Troy. All were getting tattoos except Matt, Mel and Karola. You read that right, folks. Even my MOM got a tattoo!! She promised me 6 months ago that when I beat cancer, she would get one with me to commemorate my success. That's what happened in a moment of weakness. :) I have pictures of everyone getting tattoos, but somehow left out the final pictures of what they looked like. Duh. So once I get them all collected from everyone, I'll post them. All of us girls got a purple ribbon. All of them different, too. Troy got a star and Eric got an eagle (holding a purple ribbon).

So the next day, we go to Matt's parents house for a family get together. My brother told me he wanted everyone over for dinner that night at 6 so we left Matt's parent's house at about 5:45. We stop at Mom's house first for shots with Eric:I won't get into the whole "not going to Mom's house first, but going straight to Bry's house" controversary. This is shocking and you might want to sit down for it, but...I can be very stubborn sometimes. I know, right? Aren't you floored? ;) Anyway...after the shots, we walk over to Bry's house. When I open the back door expecting dinner, there are about a million people in his living room shouting "Surprise!!!" at me. Yep...a cancer free surprise party! Hosting are my mom and Melony, who've been planning this since the first appointment at my oncologist. That's the real reason for the surprise visit the night before. I couldn't believe it...I was speechless. If you know me, that's a very hard thing to do. All the food was either in the shape of a ribbon or purple. The first person I hugged was my brother and then Melony. I won't tell you what I whispered in her ear, either. Here's the video of my entrance: Cancer Free Party. Thanks to Mel's sister, Margie, for the video. I'll post pictures when I get them from everyone and upload them. I'm sure the look on my face was pure embarrassment. Everyone knows I'm a huge fan of being the center of attention. (Say that with sarcasm...)

Tonight was Lindsey's birthday. We went to eat to celebrate. I needed today to rest and then I'm all theirs tomorrow. I'm not sure what she has planned. :)

Sorry for the long post. Guess I can remedy that by writing more often, eh? Thanks for reading and goodnight!

I have a money tree out back. Don't you??

Just a warning: this is pretty much how it'll be from now on. I don't have much to update on here since my journey with cancer is at an end. My next appointment is in February, so until then, there will be lags in my blogging. But...that's a good thing. Right? Right!

I'm having some turmoil in the removal of my port. I thought about having it taken out now, but I wanted to have one holiday where I didn't have anything cancer-related. No surgeries, no chemo, no radiation. I wanted to enjoy this holiday...have fun and rest. I'm still terribly exhausted. Since I've worked full-time during all of my treatments, I haven't had much time to rest and fully recover. I'm hoping these 2 weeks off work will do the trick. Not that I'm complaining. I wouldn't have gone through this any other way. Off track...back to the port. My next thought was to have it out during Spring Break, but the superstitious side of my brain is overriding the logical side. I'm due to have a PET scan in 4 months...I want to have another all clear before I get the port out. I think...

I have a friend going through some health issues right now, as well. She mentioned in her blog about the cost of the procedure and whatnot. It sparked an idea...I'm going to total up the cost of my cancer treatment. I'm not sure of the total (and can't really even guess), but thank goodness for my insurance. I know off hand that the Neupogen shots were over $5700.00. For 20. I had over 30 shots. Yikes.

Off the subject...Shelley and Eric are here. We're having fun so far just visiting and lounging around the house. Mom, Bryan, Melony and I went to the Nutcracker tonight. Say what you want about the ballet, but I love the music. And the guys in tights aren't bad, either. ;) Tomorrow Shelley and I are going shopping. On Wednesday, we're getting our hair done. Shelley and my other cousin, Lindsey, started growing out their hair when they found out about my cancer diagnosis. Now Shelley's is long enough to cut and donate to Locks of Love. Lindsey's doing hers soon, too. I was very touched by this. They knew how hard it was going to be on me losing my hair (which I didn't!) and this was their way of helping me. And in turn, others. Very sweet. And now that mine has stopped falling out, I'm going to get it darker again. It's lightened a lot due to the chemo. They say your hair grows back differently after chemo. I'm anxious to see how mine will be. I'm hoping dark and thick. :) The plan is to get my tattoo on Friday. We'll see.

Better go now. Have to rest up to shop. Thanks and goodnight!

Hair, awards, and good weeks.

This has been a rare week in that it has been filled with so many good things. One right after the other, in fact. Here's a timeline to show it all:

Monday--declared CANCER-FREE
Tuesday--noticed that hair kinda stopped coming out
Wednesday--hair stopped coming out altogether...only a strand here or there. Looks like I'll be keeping it afterall...
Thursday--announced teacher of the month (December) at my school
Friday--announced teacher of the YEAR at my school

Wow, huh?? Who knew you could end such a tough year on some really great things?

I feel I can actually talk about the hair situation since it's finally stopped. I've mentioned recently how superstitious I am. I thought by celebrating my non-hair loss, it would most definitely come out. But now it's stopped. For good. No more potential baldness. Crazy...sometimes it pays to be a freak of nature. I've defied all the odds...everyone (doctors, nurses, wig experts, websites, cancer brochures, etc.) assured me a 100% loss of hair from the Adriamycin. Not just thinning, but gone. Gone like this:

But they were wrong. I've had a couple of the nurses tell me that they've never seen anyone not lose their hair. I guess that gives hope to some of the other Adriamycin victims. :)

Okay...just got done painting the laundry room (with Mom's help) and now it's time for bed. Have lots to do tomorrow. Shelley and Eric will be here next weekend (YEA!!!!) and I must make it cozy and comfortable for my special guests. (Really just need to straighten a few things...)

Thanks and goodnight! :)

Kim-1, cancer-0

Yep, that's right. I win! I was officially diagnosed CANCER-FREE today!

Here's what the doctor said:

My blood work was good meaning my blood count was good. Very important. Also, it didn't sound like my lungs were damaged from the Bleomycin. It's been known to have nasty long term effects on the lungs. My oncologist said that since I wasn't too burdened with the disease (easy for her to say...), I'm young and (generally) healthy, and my treatments went well, that my prognosis is good. Of course it's not 100%, but I'll take a good prognosis anyday. If I notice any new lumps or have weight loss or night sweats again, I'm to call them immediately. I see my radiation oncologist in February and I'll have another PET scan in 4 months. Until then, I'm to live my life again. Doctor's orders! Yea!!!!

With that said...here are some of the pictures I've been promising:

This is some of the hair I lost. One morning. Just by brushing it. This, again, doesn't include hair on pillow, brush, floor, shower drain, etc.

These are all my markings I had. And my mediport (the lump on my left). Sexy, no???
Here's the lovely rash I got from the mixture of the mask and radiation. It itches like CRAZY!

And here's my new hairdo!!

You can definitely see the thinning that's happened. Another wee bit of good news??? I think my hair isn't falling out as much. Yea again!!! My nurse and oncologist were both still amazed it didn't all fall out. Told you...I'm stubborn. I also have my mask, but haven't taken a picture of it yet. I'll try to do that tomorrow.

Anyway...I'm done! With posting (for tonight) and cancer treatments. Time to watch Christmas movies and relax. Finally!

Thanks and goodnight!

I HAVE CROSSED THE FINISHED LINE!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! My family did. There was lots of food, family, and fun this year. I love when family comes to visit during the holidays. We all sit around the table and eat and talk. And eat some more. Especially if you're my cousin, Jeff. I swear that boy is a bottomless pit. I don't know how he stays so skinny. Now for the good news:

I am officially done with cancer treatments!! I finished my LAST radiation on Tuesday. I even got to bring my mask home. I have lots of pictures I want to post and will include that with the rest. I haven't posted earlier for several reasons: 1) I haven't really had the time, 2) I haven't felt too great and 3) I've been extremely tired. I'm actually just writing this in hopes it will make me write more later.

I had blood drawn last Monday (a lot of blood drawn) and have a doctor's appointment today with my oncologist. I'll find out the results from the blood and what the next step is. I know another scan will be involved, just not sure when.

I shall post more after the doctor. Thanks for being patient.

I am (hardly) the picture image of serenity.

Sleep has yet to come to me so I write. Last night was no exception to my nightmare rule. This one was full of kidnapping, pigs, trains and images far more lethal than those 3 combined.

It's been during these 6 months that I have hoped relentlessly for a darkroom. But to no avail. My minor in college was photography. It started out being English, but as it turns out, I absolutely hate to write. Photograhy I chanced upon by pure accident. At the time, Matt was taking video courses for his major. It was recommended that he also take a still photography class. So I took it with him. I've always been interested in photography. Just ask my poor family, who, much to their disliking, have been the subjects. I try to get them at the most inopportune times...like eating at Thanksgiving. This consistently makes for a better picture. These are the times you want to remember. Not the posed, which are fine, but not always as meaningful.

Anyhow, we took the most basic of classes. It entailed how to operate a manual camera, develop your own film and print your own negatives. I loved it! It was the most fascinating subject I had learned. There's nothing like being in a darkroom. The repetition and rhythm of developing a print is serene and calming. For me, it was like baking. It becomes routine and your mind is free to wander. However, being there had the opposite effect. My mind wandered so much that after a while it was gloriously clear. And that's what I liked about it. It was my addiction.

Matt and I were sometimes there for hours upon hours. The sound of the music our lab instructor liked and the movement of the water, the red lighting, the smell of the chemicals...all these elements bring a goofy smile to my face. Our darkroom was similar to this:

And as it turns out...it was something I was actually good at. I've tried many things growing up...karate, dance/ballet, gymnastics, soccer (to which my mom signed me up, but I refused to play). I quit all of these things. I'm not coordinated enough for physical activity. I can still deal out a good (pardon the language) ass-kicking, but that's not due to karate, but to having an older brother who used to like to practice his karate on me. But photography is different. I had a knack for it, as they say. I entered several prints in the State Fair and actually won on a couple of them. 1st and 3rd place on some black and whites and 2nd place on a colored. That might not sound like much until you hear that the State Fair's creative arts competition is one of the largest in the US. Feel free to be impressed...now. :) So I ventured from black and white to the most advanced color.

Anyhow...thought I'd let my dream for a darkroom be known. One day I shall have one to call my own. Yes...one day.

Turkeys have heart attacks (so now you really can't feel bad for eating them).

I have absolutely nothing to write about today. I have 5 more treatments and then I'm done!! That means it'll end on December 3rd. Wow. Hard to believe. 6 months of my life devoted to beating this and now it's almost over.

Since there's nothing looming on the horizon to write about (no break-ins and whatnot), I thought I'd post some more fun facts. Apparently some of you didn't think my last fun facts were "fun". I did, but I also have a pretty warped sense of humor. My sister-in-law, Melony, sends us a "Did you know?" every morning. These are usually random trivia facts. Today I'm stealing her idea and posting about the coolest Thanksgiving facts. One of them is the title to this blog. Well...the heart attack part anyway. So...let's relieve the suspense and learn about Thanksgiving, shall we???

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The traditional cornucopia was a curved goat's horn filled to brim with fruits and grains. According to Greek legend, Amalthea (a goat) broke one of her horns and offered it to Greek God Zeus as a sign of reverence. As a sign of gratitude, Zeus later set the goat's image in the sky also known as constellation Capricorn. Cornucopia is the most common symbol of a harvest festival. A Horn shaped container, it is filled with abundance of the Earth's harvest. It is also known as the 'horn of plenty’.

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It was not until 1941, that congress declared Thanksgiving as a national holiday. It was declared to be the fourth Thursday in November.

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The first known thanksgiving feast or festival in North America was celebrated by Francisco Vásquez de Coronado and the people he called "Tejas" (members of the Hasinai group of Caddo-speaking Native Americans).

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Here's one of those funny Thanksgiving facts: Turkeys have heart attacks. When the Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, fields of turkeys would drop dead.

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Turducken, a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, is becoming more popular in Thanksgiving (originated in Louisiana). A turducken is a de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are filled with, at the very least, a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture (although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird).

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Fossil evidence shows that turkeys roamed the Americas 10 million years ago.

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91% of Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving Day.

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There are regional differences as to the "stuffing" (or "dressing") traditionally served with the turkey. Southerners generally make theirs from cornbread, while in other parts of the country white bread is the base. One or several of the following may be added: oysters, apples, chestnuts, raisins, celery and/or other vegetables, sausage or the turkey's giblets.

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Thomas Jefferson thought the concept of Thanksgiving was "the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard."

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Every President since Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving Day. But in 1939, 1940, and 1941 Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed Thanksgiving the third Thursday in November to lengthen the holiday shopping season. This upset people.

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Fifty percent of Americans put the stuffing inside the Turkey.

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The North American holiday season (generally the Christmas shopping season in the U.S.) traditionally begins when Thanksgiving ends, on "Black Friday" (the day after Thanksgiving); this tradition has held forth since at least the 1930s.

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On the West Coast of the US, Dungeness crab is common as an alternate main dish instead of turkey, as crab season starts in early November.

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Corn is one of the popular symbols of thanksgiving. It came in many varieties and colors - red, white, yellow and blue. Some Americans considered blue and white corn sacred. The oldest corns date 7000 years back and were grown in Mexico.

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Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a turkey.

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Several people wanted to have an official day of thanksgiving, including George Washington, who proclaimed a National Day of Thanksgiving in 1789. Several people did not want it including President Thomas Jefferson.

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Here's one of the most unbelievable Thanksgivng facts: The Guinness Book of Records states that the greatest dressed weight recorded for a turkey is 39.09 kg (86 lbs), at the annual "heaviest turkey" competition held in London, England on December 12, 1989.

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The first Thanksgiving was not a feast, but rather a time when Native Americans helped Pilgrims by bringing them food and helping them build off the land.

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More than 40 million green bean casseroles are served on Thanksgiving.

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Turkey is the traditional dish for the Thanksgiving feast. In the US, about 280 million turkeys are sold for the Thanksgiving celebrations. There is no official reason or declaration for the use of turkey. They just happened to be the most plentiful meat available at the time of the first Thanksgiving in 1621, starting the tradition.

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Twenty percent of cranberries eaten are eaten on Thanksgiving.

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The preliminary estimate of the number of turkeys raised in the United States in 2005 is 256 million. That’s down 3 percent from 2004. The turkeys produced in 2004 weighed 7.3 billion pounds altogether and were valued at $3.1 billion.

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Turkeys were one of the first animals in the Americas to be domesticated.

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Columbus thought that the land he discovered was connected to India, where peacocks are found in considerable number. And he believed turkeys were a type of peacock (they’re actually a type of pheasant). So he named them “tuka”, which is "peacock" in the Tamil language of India.

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The 'wishbone' of the turkey is used in a good luck ritual on Thanksgiving Day.

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The cranberry is a symbol and a modern diet staple of thanksgiving. Originally called crane berry, it derived its name from its pink blossoms and drooping head, which reminded the Pilgrims of a crane.

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The Plymouth Pilgrims dined with the Wampanoag Indians for the First Thanksgiving.

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The different nicknames for Thanksgiving Day: “Turkey Day” (after the traditional Thanksgiving dinner), “T-Day” (an abbreviation of either “Thanksgiving Day” or “Turkey Day”), “Macy’s Day (this is exclusive to New York City – it is a reference to the Macy’s Day Parade), “Yanksgiving” (Canadians sometimes call the Thanksgiving in the US as “Yanksgiving” to distinguish it from the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday.)

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The First Thanksgiving lasted for three days.

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Contrary to popular belief, Native Americans did not eat cranberries. They did, however, find them extremely useful for dying fabric and decorating pottery.

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The Native Americans wore deerskin and fur, not blankets.

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A spooked turkey can run at speeds up to 20 miles per hour. They can also burst into flight approaching speeds between 50-55 mph in a matter of seconds.

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Turkeys are first documented over two thousand years ago in Central America and Mexico.

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In October of 1777 all 13 colonies celebrated Thanksgiving for the first time; however it was a one-time affair commemorating a victory over the British at Saratoga.

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There are three places in the United States named after the holiday’s traditional main course — Turkey, Texas; Turkey Creek, La.; and Turkey, N.C. There are also nine townships around the country named “Turkey,” with three in Kansas.

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Sarah Josepha Hale, a magazine editor, campaigned to make Thanksgiving a National Holiday in 1827 and succeeded.

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Wild turkeys, while technically the same species as domesticated turkeys, have a very different taste from farm-raised turkeys. Almost all of the meat is "dark" (even the breasts) with a more intense turkey flavor. Older heritage breeds also differ in flavor.

Really??

Sorry for the brief hiatus.

Radiation is still okay. I didn't have it on Monday because something was wrong with the machine. As of today, I have 6 treatments left. I have Thanksgiving off and the day before or after as well (I think) so I should be done the first week of December. My symptoms are still the same. Sore throat, red skin, blah, blah, blah.

Now I have good news and bad news. I'll hit you with the bad news first. Ever feel like you can't catch a break?? That pretty much sums up this year. In the past couple of weeks, both our van and Matt's car have been broken into. Music equipment was stolen from the van. And last night on his way home from work, someone smashed the driver's side window of Matt's car. He stopped briefly at a gas station in Irving and when he came back out, he found glass all over the pavement. His backpack, a jacket and $20 were taken. Bad things --and people--seem to follow us everywhere. I used to have such faith in people. It seems to get worse the older I get. Not sure if I should attribute that to wisdom or cynicism. I'll say wisdom.

Ready for the good news? My hair is growing back! I haven't lost it all (yet), but it's still coming out at an alarming rate. I thought it might stop after chemo. They say the chemo is out of your body in 2-3 weeks and hair will start to regrow after 4-6 weeks. I've been done with chemo for 6 weeks this past Friday. My doctor's are amazed that I haven't lost it all (or rather, didn't lose it all during treatment). That's another odd I've beaten. But unfortunately, I think the hair follicles are damaged enough to where I'll lose the hair regardless of whether the chemo is out of my body. I went in and had Jilly cut my hair shorter than before. She added some layers in the back and it now hides the thinness more than before. I'll take a picture of my new 'do sometime later.

I have a picture of the amount of hair I lose and will post it later, too. People ask about it and I tell them I'm still losing it. Then they tell me they lose their hair, too. I understand that...don't get me wrong. I know everyone loses a certain amount of hair a day...I did, too, before this. But it's not the same. You don't see the hair on my pillow when I get up in the morning or the hair that I lose in the shower or the hair all over the bathroom floor or in my brush or on my clothes. It's not the same as the hair you lose. I apologize for the bitter undertone of this rant, but I also didn't come this far to lose my hair NOW. I'm a little frustrated.

I hate to end this on a bad note. That's completely out of my norm. So I'll tell you this: my cousin Jeff and his girlfriend, Stephanie, are coming for Thanksgiving. I can't wait! We have so much fun when they come to visit. If you knew Jeff, you'd know why. He has the best sense of humor and you can't help but laugh when in his presence. My other cousin (and Jeff's sister) Shelley and her husband, Eric, are coming to visit for Christmas. I decided shortly after my diagnosis to get another tattoo to celebrate being cancer free. I was pretty determined to fight and beat this thing back then. So...I've convinced poor Shelley to get one too. And what better time than when she's visiting for Christmas?? I'm about this far away from convincing my mom to get one:
We shall see as the time gets closer.

Hope everyone's weekend is wonderful. Go Cowboys!

Dreams and sleep, sleep and dreams.

I don't have much to report in the way of radiation side effects (just a constant sore throat, itching at radiation site, fatigue), so I thought today I would just...write.

For the past couple of months, I've had horrible nightmares. I first remember this starting around May. It happened every night. But not the same nightmare over and over. It was always different. And real. They weren't the kind that you wake up and remember and then feel stupid for being frightened by them. When I say "real", I mean REAL. Stuff that could actually happen. I was unnerved enough by them, that I would avoid the places in them--for fear it might be a premonition of events to happen.

Have I mention that I'm very superstitious? I do things that would seem silly to most people, but make perfect sense to me. For instance, I changed shampoos right after chemo. Then I thought my hair was falling out faster, so I switched back. Somehow the Cowboys seem to lose when I watch it with other people, but win when I don't. So I usually end up watching it alone. Stuff like that.

Back to the dreams...I once had a dream about Target, guns and this specific pink purse. I was telling it to my mom the day after. We stayed away from Target for a couple of days...just in case. One day after work, we decided to go and look around. We have one just down the street from our school, so we do that randomly...not for anything in particular, just to walk aimlessly and browse with a cup of coffee. This Target is set up differently from the ones I'm used to. The purses are right in the front of the store. We walk in and right there hanging in the front is the pink purse. Same exact one. Sent chills down my spine. If not for my mom being there, I'd have turned and walked out.

Shortly after chemo started, sleep evaded me. What little sleep I did get was still plagued with these nightmares. I was happy and a little relieved to not be sleeping so often, despite the fact that I whined and complained about how tired I was. But lately sleep has been different. I've slept so soundly that I don't remember my dreams as often. Being sleep deprived for 4 months is helping with that, I'm sure. The nightmares still creep in there, though. But not every night, as before. I view it as a small victory.

Friday night, Mom and I went to the Neiman Marcus lighting in downtown Dallas. Yes, we realize it's a little early for Christmas lights, but the weather was perfect (windy and cold!) and we had a lot of fun. Here are some pictures from it:

That's it for now, folks. Thanks for reading!

Things can only get better...

In my last post, I mentioned that I had a cold. That is getting better...my morning, however, did not. I had one of those mornings/days where things could only get better. And they did, in fact. For the most part. This is how it started out:

Last night I was backing out of the garage with Matt to meet his family for dinner. I got a wee bit close to the side of the garage with the mirror. He gasped in horror, then promptly apologized, saying, "I guess you're more used to doing this since you do it everyday." Thanks for the well-timed jinx. Can you see where this is going? Backing out this morning, I hit the mirror on the side of the garage. Yeah. It only knocked off the cover to the mirror, so I popped it back on...thinking I was smarter than the car. Wrong. Driving down the highway I notice the mirror dangling by the wires. My car is new. Have I mentioned that? Yep...a new Volvo s40. I've owned it for about 9 months. I actually found my Hodgkin's lump on the day we bought our car. More precisely, at the dealership. Anyhow...

When I got to school, I slipped and fell. The combination of the rain, the wet tile, and my black ballerina-type shoes didn't quite mesh well together. I fell in the hallway. On my bottom. In front of 2 students. Well...I say my bottom, but my swollen, bruised thigh might disagree. It's about the size of a...a...um...well, I'm kinda at a loss here. It's pretty big. Let's just say that. Bruised and swollen enough you could see the "bulge" through my pants. (Ha! Sorry...I just reread that sentence and that's not exactly how I meant that to come out. But I'm leaving it 'cause it's funny...) The 2 students were stunned and quick to make sure I wasn't hurt. Nope...just my thigh and my pride. Nothing big.

Had radiation to top it all off. That's going swimmingly, I might add. It took a little longer yesterday because they did more x-rays. They'll do that every 5-7 treatments to make sure everything is still in the right place. I'm just now starting to get a sore throat. The previous one must have been the result of my cold. I'm tired, like usual. The actual radiation and, more importantly, going everyday is starting to take it's toll on me. And I was just starting to catch up on my 3 months lack of sleep. This has the opposite effect, it seems. I can sleep, at least, but so soundly that I feel groggy all day. I see the doctor tomorrow. I'll see him at least once a week. This isn't going to be my radiation oncologist, though. He's out of town for a few weeks, so I'll see the fill-in doctor.

Enough whining...here's the something "fun" I promised in the last post. The following is a list of "notable cases" (as Wiki puts it) of Hodgkin's disease, pulled straight from Wiki itself:

Gerald Finzi, English composer. Died of the disease in 1956 aged 55.

Luke Menard, American Idol Season 7 contestant. Diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2008.

Mark Fields Former NFL player forced to retire in 2004 from the disease.

Paul Allen, Microsoft co-founder, was diagnosed and treated for Hodgkin's lymphoma in 1983.

The actor Richard Harris died of Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2002 after filming Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as main character Albus Dumbledore.

Former NHL star Mario Lemieux was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in January 1993. Even after taking 2 months off, Lemieux ended up winning the scoring title that year.

Lynden David Hall died of Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2006.

Barry Watson, an actor who gained fame in the television series 7th Heaven, had successfully treated Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Roger Patterson, who filmed the Patterson-Gimlin film what he claimed to be Bigfoot in Northern California in 1967. Died of Hodkin's disease in 1972.

Delta Goodrem, Australian singer, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in July 2003.

Former head of NBC Entertainment, Brandon Tartikoff, died in 1997 after a 25 year battle with Hodgkin's disease.

U.S. Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) was diagnosed with Phase IVB Hodgkin's Disease in 2005, underwent 5 months of chemotherapy, and received a clean bill of health. On April 15 2008, he announced that his Hodgkin's had returned.

British actor Roger Tonge who played the disabled Sandy Richardson in the cult British soap opera Crossroads in the 1960s and 1970s died of Hodgkin's Disease in 1981 at the age of 35.

Alese Coco One of the most notable non-celebrities to have Hodgkin's disease. Known worldwide as a torch bearer for Hodgkin's research. Died at 23 years old.

WWE wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper was announced to have been diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2006.

John Millington Synge, the Irish author best known for the play The Playboy of the Western World, died in 1909 from the disease.

Dinu Lipatti, the Romanian pianist, died of Hodgkin's disease in 1950, 33 years old.

Wayne Shelford, aka 'Buck' Shelford, former All Black rugby player for New Zealand.

Elizabeth Madox Roberts, a noted Kentucky poet and novelist, died from Hodgkin's in 1941.

Joy Hester, a noted Australian artist, died from Hodgkin's in 1960.

Emma Lazarus, Jewish American poetess, writer of the New Colossus, died of Hodgkin's disease on 19 November 1887.

Martin Fry, vocalist with ABC, was treated for Hodgkin's Disease in 1985/86.

Journalist Giles Smith describes his bout with Hodgkin's in his memoir Lost in Music; he refers to the fact that Martin Fry (above) had the same condition.

James Whitham, motorcycle racer, was treated for Hodgkin's Disease in 1995/96.

Glen Goins, singer and guitarist for Parliament Funkadelic died from Hodgkin's Disease in 1978.

Alexander Litvinov, a Russian rock poet and musician, died from Hodgkin's Disease in 1999.

Jamie Tape AFL Footballer

Freida Riley, an American schoolteacher who inspired the Rocket Boys, died of Hodgkin's Disease in 1969 at the age of 31. The movie October Sky was made in honor of her and the Rocket boys.

Jane Austen, one of the most famous authors of English literature, died in 1817 aged 41. Previously it has been thought she died of Addison's disease; however, more recently speculation has suggested that it may have been Hodgkin's disease instead.

Seumas McNally, a computer game programmer and president of Longbow Digital Arts, died on March 21, 2000; he was diagnosed with the disease three years earlier.

Famous American writer Dale Carnegie died of Hodgkin's disease in 1955.

Michael Cuccione, member of the spoof boy band, 2ge+her, was treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 1994/95. He died from complications related to his treatment in 2001.

Knut Schreiner of Turbonegro was diagnosed with the disease in March of 2008.

Martyn Bennett One of Scotland's most talented musicians died of Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 2005. He was 33 years old.

There is also a list of "cultural references" on Wiki, if you're interested. Hope you enjoyed reading that.

Thanks for reading!

I got knocked down, but I'll get up.

I didn't intend to write anything tonight (because I honestly don't feel like it), but now that I'm sitting here...

Radiation is going well (or as well as something that's injuring and destroying my cells could be going...). I haven't really experienced any side effects. I say "haven't really" because I have a cold right now and it's hard to tell what the sore throat is a result from. But in turn, I do have a sexy, throaty voice right now (if you're into that nasally, hoarse-sounding kinda thing). ;)

I was actually a little freaked out the other day...a gland on the side of my throat (where the jaw bone meets under the earlobe) is swollen and tender. I freaked because the first thing I thought of was another swollen lymph node. Of course it wasn't. My radiation oncologist checked it before my treatment yesterday and told me he didn't feel any swollen lymph nodes. Yea! This was just another gland associated with having a sore throat. He prescribed an antibiotic to help, though.

Back to the side effects...I'm having a reaction to wearing the mask. No, not psychological--at least any more. It's irritating the side of my neck. Apparently the mask and my "ivory white skin" (another compliment from the nurses) don't agree with each other. It should go away after treatment. Speaking of the horrid mask, it is getting easier to wear. It still sucks and I still get anxious thinking about it, but once I'm in there, it's okay. The radiation process is taking a shorter amount of time, so I end up having to wear the mask about 10 minutes. I actually caught a glimpse of myself in the radiation machine while on the table. The machine has a type of mirror on it that happens to be directly overhead when they move the table back. I know I was kidding about the whole Pinhead thing at first, but whoa...not joking now. I look as atrocious as it feels. And I'm still half-naked.

Alright...I went back to proofread this and realize how disorganized this is. I've jumped from one subject to the next. Why stop now!

We went to Chuck E. Cheese's again tonight for another school fundraiser. This time I made sure to invite my brother, Bryan. For reference, read comments here. So Mom, Matt, Bryan, Melony and I were all there tonight. We ate, played games, won tickets. Matt actually won 256 tickets on a game. So we were able to buy 3 Sweetart packs instead of just 1. Apparently gas isn't the only thing that went up in price.

Okay. Enough rambling for one night. I have something fun and interesting I intend on posting in the future. Ha! Take a stab at guessing what that's going to be. I dare you.

Thanks and goodnight.

By the way, the title to this blog is a Joey Ramone song. He died of lymphoma in 2001 after having it for 7 years.

I won an award!

I started my radiation today. I was so nervous about it all day. Not about the radiation, per se, but about that stupid (and some other choice words) mask. I've worn it a couple of times, yes, but just the idea of putting it on terrifies me. My palms sweat, my face turns red. It's absolutely dreadful. Here's the radiation process:

I sign in at the front, like usual, but instead of waiting in the waiting room, I'm given a code to open the door to the radiation section. I change into a gown and wait. Debra came to get me. I lay on the table and she and Richard get ready to work. I'm re-introduced to Richard (smile) and he remembers me by my "cool tattoo". Uh-huh. I did, however, win 2 awards while there: the coolest tattoo award and the cutest patient award. I tell you what...if they're going to compliment me every time I go, I'm not opposed to going everyday. :) Anyhow, I've posted it before, but here's the radiation machine again:

Once I'm on the table, they fit the mask on. I did ask Debra if she could cut the eye holes a little bigger. She said no problem, but I told her if it's a pain, not to worry about it. Well, Richard said it was and I lost a point for that. I said they were harsh, but he assured me my points will start over tomorrow. After cutting the eyes a tad bigger, the mask is back on and the panicking begins. It doesn't take quite as long to calm down this time. There's music playing in the background and if I can concentrate on that, I'm okay. They move me around to line me up with the lasers. I'm given another mark right under my collar bone. No tattoo this time...just Sharpie. I'm not allowed to do any of the moving...they do it all. I am putty in their hands. A direct quote from them. A little tug to this side on my hips, a little push to the other side on my shoulder. By the time they're done, I'm like a contortionist. They did the radiation to the front and came in to tell me they were halfway done. The machine is flipped around and I'm given radiation to my back. This whole process takes about 10 minutes. Not too long.

Matt gave me the strategy of trying to think of something else when the mask is on to calm me down. Today, however, it took so long to think about what I wanted to think about, they were already done! Once the radiation was done and the mask was off, I went to wait to see the doctor. He came in and talked to me briefly. When he left, I was done and free to leave. And the whole thing happens again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. 1 down, 19 more to go!

Over the weekend, Mom and I went to the Light the Night in Frisco for fun. The weather was beautiful and we had a lot of fun (and I got some much needed exercise!) Pictures are, of course, posted. You can't see it in the pictures, but the shirt I have on says "survivor" on the back. I got it at the last walk. Not quite a "survivor" yet, but getting close!

Must go to bed now. Have to get up early tomorrow and try to vote. I'm praying that the lines aren't too long.

Thanks and goodnight!

Oh my... (part 2)

So I got a call on Monday morning from Richard, the male tech. Apparently my neck positioning was wrong and they wanted me to come in and redo the mask and have a new CAT scan done. Oh my. Actually, it was more of a chin thing...it needed to be higher. As if my experience wasn't horrible enough the first time, I had to go in and do it all over again. Yippee! Let me interrupt here to tell a funny story...on my message from Richard, he mentioned the fact that we had met "briefly" the previous week. Uh...yeah...you could say that. When you've seen me half naked, I'd pretty much say we're like this:

Back to the story...I went in Tuesday afternoon and made a new mask. It was certainly as terrifying as the first time, but I did it. I thought knowing what to expect might help, and it did a little, but I still hated it.

Today I went in for what was called "verification". During this process, you actually go back to the treatment room. You lay on the table, the mask is put on (much tighter fit to the face than when making it, I might add) and x-rays are taken. This takes about 45 minutes. They line up the machine to the tattoos and then they marked all over my neck and chest in Sharpie again. I got 2 new tattoos and some pretty visible markings that must stay for the duration of radiation. They look like this:

One right in the middle of my neck and the other almost right in the middle of my chest. These markings are made with Sharpie and covered in tape so they last longer. You can actually see the remnants of leftover Sharpie all over my chest around these markings. Right in the center of each of these are the new tattoos that will be there forever. This was done the same way as the other three. That brings my total up to 5. They kinda look like gun targets. Matt thinks I should go as a sniper victim for Halloween. I think I maybe could work with that...

Debra, the nurse, told me they got my films done on the first try and that's rare. Either I'm really good at holding perfectly still or she's just full of compliments. So that concludes the preliminary portion of my radiation. The next step is actual radiation which will start on Monday afternoon. This schedule should put my last week of radiation around the first of December. There will be side effects with radiation and my most prominent one will probably be a sore throat. A lot of the side effects are the same as chemo: fatigue, nausea, etc. I'll post more about those later.

Thanks and goodnight.

Oh my...

Ever have one of those days you just want to forget about??? Mine was Thursday. I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist. All started out well. I was taken back to a room where my vitals were checked. All were good. Matt and I were taken to another room next, where I changed into a gown from the waist up. Finally (after 30 minutes or so) the doctor came in, commented that I still have my hair (which I do), checked my lymph nodes (which is done by EVERY doctor, EVERY time), and I was then informed that I was to have another CAT scan (yikes). I'm okay with CAT scans...usually. This one was somewhat different.

The machine was the same. I layed down on the table and was hooked up to an IV that was later used to inject dye into my veins (not the first time this has been done). Now, the point of this was to find the exact places on my body that the radiation is to hit. There are lasers on the ceiling that pointed down to my neck and chest. I had 3 nurses/techs during the whole process...2 female, 1 male. (The "male" part becomes important later.) I'm marked with Sharpie--yes, Sharpie--down the middle of my face to my nose and again on my chin. The nurse promises this will come off (fortunately, it does). Now my gown is open and I'm also marked on my chest. This is where the "male" part comes in...the whole "gown open" thing is kinda uncomfortable. Since I'm laying there forever like this, I also kinda forget about it. It becomes the least of my problems soon. I'm run back and forth through the machine several times. Each time I come out, I'm checked to see if I moved from the original point of entry, which is marked by the lasers on the ceiling. I was doing pretty good. Didn't move too much. Then I was told I was going to have to wear a radiation mask. It kinda looked like Pinhead:Except replace the pins with mesh holes. Okay, fine. You got me. The actually masked looked like this:I had 2 tiny holes for the eyes and 1 tiny hole for the nostrils and mouth. That's the only difference. The mask is warm, gooey and wet when first placed over your head. The nurses informed me it would feel much like a facial. I have to admit...I was a little excited. That is until they strapped it down to the table and it hardens. Gets a little claustraphobic. I started to panic. I asked (through clenched teeth) how long I'd have to wear it. 10 more minutes, they say. Why? Are you getting nervous?? Uh...YEAH. You could say that. I finally realized I could open my eyes and that helped a bit. 10 minutes in that thing feels like an eternity. Finally, the real CAT scan was done. Once without dye, once with dye. I was finally taken off the IV and the mask was taken off. Next came the tattoos.

When you start radiation, the places on your body are usually marked with marker or permanent ink. I got permanent ink. 3 of them the old fashion way. I was swabbed with alcohol under my chest...on either side of my rib cage and right in the middle. This is all for radiation that will hit a specific spot on my windpipe. After the alcohol came a dab of ink. A needle was pushed into the ink after that. I have 3 dots now that will forever remind me of this. Like I really need a permanent reminder. Oh my...

I left there shaking and crying. I couldn't even tell Matt what had happened. He left soon after to get some stuff from home for me. I was taken a little off guard with the mask. It freaked me out. I have to wear it every single time for radiation so that my head doesn't move. A minimum of 15 minutes. Keep in mind that the radiation is 5 days a week for 20 days. I called my mom sobbing. She thought I got bad news. Once I explained the story, I calmed down a bit. But still...my palms sweat just thinking about it. Oh...did I mention they also took several pictures of me? Yeah, that's right. Pictures. Half naked, with the mask, without the mask. These are used for positioning later. Whatever. I'm going to search the Internet for them. Just in case... :)

Here are some good things I heard while lying on the table half naked:
From the male tech--I have a tattoo on my foot of puzzle pieces for autism..."I LOVE that tattoo...how cool!" and "Wow...she's nice and skinny." (This is while laying on the table half undressed.)
From the female nurses--while putting on the mask..."We've never seen someone with such a symmetrical face...the holes fit your face perfectly." I guess that's good...I took it as a compliment.

Now on a lighter side, Matt and I went to play pool tonight. It's been years since I've played. Nothing like a few games of pool (and a few pitchers of beer) to bring out the sailor in me. I have to admit, I was cussing quite a bit. I did win, however...5-4. Two games of 8 ball and the rest were 9 ball. Yea for me! Sorry, Matt, but I won fair and square.

Time for bed now. I've been sleeping quite a bit and am finally able to...guess I'm catching up on the 2 1/2 months I haven't slept. Just in time for radiation...which will also make me tired. Joy.

Thanks for reading. Goodnight, folks.

Lights, nights and parties.

Sunday night was the Light the Night walk in Dallas. We had over 40 people on our team and so far have raised over $1900!!! We had a ton of fun! They were giving away lots of free stuff...pedometers, bracelets, lapel pins for lymphoma, etc. I even got a green "survivor" shirt and candle for writing my story down. Everyone on the team carried red balloons for support. I carried a gold one for memory of a loved one lost (my Oma died from multiple myeloma) and a white one...because I have it. Funny thing is I only saw 3 other white balloons. Hmmmm...anyhow. Thank you to the following people who came to walk with me: Mom, Dad, Matt, Bryan, Melony, Todd, Oscar, Kathy, Jill, Brad, Matt P., Megan, Elaine, Laura, Amanda, Christine, Alex, Janette, Cindy, Kathi, Paul, Erin, Jason, Brendan, Kim, Brandon, Darcy, Sarah, Rachel, Lauren, Melissa, April, Stephanie, Jeannette, Tore, Dolly, Larry, Jordan, Lisa, Roslyn, and Alma.

I have to make a correction about my last blog. My mom wanted me to write that while the news of my brother and sister-in-law's upcoming birth is exciting, the best news our family received was my near cancer-free diagnosis. Sorry Bryan and Mel. But I am short and unloved. :)

I have a radiation oncology appointment set for Thursday morning for planning. They'll mark my radiation spots then using either marker or permanent inking (like a tattoo). I'll get my schedule of radiation then, as well. Hopefully it'll start next week. Starting next week would put me finished the week before Thanksgiving!!! That's what I'm hoping for. I do know it's 5 days a week for 20 days. I also have CBC on Friday (that's a fancy way of saying "blood test"). I'm hoping for good results from that, too.

Alrighty...well that's it. I posted pictures of Light the Night and of my Purple Party. So many people had cameras at the walk. I'm trying to get them all and will post them as they come in.

Thanks for reading!

Good days!

I meant to write about this on Tuesday night, but, alas, was just too darn tired. And again on Wednesday. And again on Thursday. :)

I felt somewhat better on Monday after the not-so-great weekend. My Tuesday was packed full of good news and fun things. First off...MY BROTHER, BRYAN, AND SISTER-IN-LAW, MELONY, ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They found out the good news (officially) on Tuesday. Yea!!!! This is the most exciting and best news our family has had in the past couple of months. I can't wait to spoil the little brat silly. My prediction is a girl. :)

Also on Tuesday, my staff threw me a surprise "Purple Party" to celebrate my last chemo. Did you catch the word "surprise"??? I don't do surprises well. I turn beet red. Okay...I mean even more red than I already am. Everyone had on purple and Cindy, our PTA president and my sub on chemo days, made everyone purple ribbons to wear. We had purple cake (well...purple icing!) and purple punch. We even had purple chocolate-covered pretzels with purple sprinkles! Everyone on the staff pitched in to buy something purple. You wouldn't believe the amount of purple stuff in the world! I got all the following...in purple...: nail polish, nail polish remover, socks, candles, candy, lotion, a feather boa, pom-poms, gum, pencil case, brownie mix with spatula, Halloween towels, Halloween martini glass, picture album...the list goes on and on! I have pictures of everything that our art teacher, Amanda, took. I'll post them later.

AND on Tuesday, Matt and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary! I'm all about pictures (in case you couldn't tell) so if you want to see wedding and honeymoon pics, go here: kimandmatt.shutterfly.com. Our "dating" anniversary was Friday the 10th...11 years. Dorky, I know. For those of you who don't know our life histories, Matt and I met in preschool. We were in the same 3 year old class. I have a class pic of us in kindergarten. I'll try to find that and post it on here. Here's us in kinder at our Christmas program and at Matt's 5 year old birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's.

We went our separate ways in elementary and middle school and met back up again in high school. Ironically, we didn't start dating until the summer after graduation-though I did attend many an Ed Banky's Car show during high school. :) We were married in the same church that we went to preschool.


That's it for now. Don't forget the walk is on Sunday. It's not too late to join or donate. We'd love to have you there!!! http://teams.lightthenight.org/PurplePeopleEaters_SouthernMethodistUniversity


Thanks and goodnight.

Chemo treatment #6

Well...this is it. The last time I'll have to write about chemo. Ever. Hopefully. :)

I had my last chemo on Friday. Matt was there (as always) and this time, my mom came with us. She got to see how truly boring it is and she also got to see all the crap they put me through. For instance, I'm having trouble giving blood. Apparently, my body is dry and the chemo is turning me into a vampire. Hence the not sleeping, too. Okay...maybe I'm reading too many vampire books. But really...my body is refusing to give blood. I had nurse Kelly this time. In order to try to get blood, I leaned forward with my hands on Kelly's shoulders. No go. I leaned all the way back in the chair with my arms over my head. Still no. I hummed. That apparently opens some vein that my port is attached to or something like that. That didn't work either, but it sure made us laugh. I was finally given a dose of Alteplase, a blood thinner that's slightly stronger than Heparin. After sitting for about 15 minutes, we tried again and finally the blood started flowing. This whole process took a total of about 45 minutes. Sheesh. You can see the pictures of each one of these in the my last chemo album.

I was not given the Bleomycin this time because on Monday I reported having shortness of breath to my doctor. As I wrote earlier, the Bleo is known to cause lung damage. She nixed it this time, just in case. With the Bleo, I get Tylenol and Benadryl, so I didn't get those, either. I still got the Ativan, the push-in drugs and the Decarbazine. All in all, we left about 30 minutes earlier than usual.

I got a lot of presents on Friday. When I got to the chemo lounge, there were flowers in my seat. (I have a regular seat...I sit in it every time. Of course, this last time, my seat was taken by some lady. Who does she think she is??? :) I ended up having to sit next to her. Then I changed seats again. She left about 15 minutes later so I moved to MY seat. Kelly was very patient...) Anyhow, back to the flowers. They were beautiful petite roses from my in-laws in fall colors. What a surprise! I also got a visit from Lisa, my chemo buddy. She brought me some wonderful smelling lavendar lotion and bath salt (which I used last night). When I got home, there was an "I love you" balloon with a Starbucks card attached to it from Matty. My brother and sister-in-law and my brother's boss also give me presents every chemo Friday. I've gotten Halloween decorations, cookbooks, candy, lavendar scented things (lotion, air freshener, etc), body lotions, and many other things.

Yesterday was the worst I've felt after chemo. I was so nauseous, I took one of my other anti-nausea pills in addition to the 2 I take for 3 days after. It helped a little, but certainly not enough. It was the only time during this that I was truly bedridden. Thank God I'm done! I'm better today...just exhausted. Fortunately tomorrow is a student holiday so I'll be in a meeting all day. At least that's somewhat relaxing.

Well, that's it for now. The side effects will come on soon and I'll post about those for the LAST time as well. :) In 2-3 weeks, I'll start radiation and (hopefully) be cancer-free!

Also...don't forget about the walk. It's next Sunday and we'd love to have YOU there! http://teams.lightthenight.org/PurplePeopleEaters_SouthernMethodistUniversity

Thanks for reading!

Just to reiterate...

MY LAST CHEMO IS TOMORROW! YIPPEE!

That is all. :)

More good news!

I saw my oncologist today for a check up. I had blood drawn, then had my vitals checked: temp: 98.2, BP: 137/82. I was weighed, too, but I won't put that on here. :) I have, despite my best effort, gained 2 pounds. And by "best", I mean "not really trying". 2 pounds is tragic, I know. But I see this as an opportunity to indulge in anything I feel like. For instance, at the Fair on Saturday, Mom and I had every fried food possible. Oh wait...we do that every year. Hmmm...okay...well...I have been drinking a lot of Coke. Now that's something that's rare for me. Enough rambling. Let's get to the good stuff...

Here's what she said: my WBC is good...no more Neupogen shots!!! Yea!! My last one was last night. One step closer to being done. I'm glad to be rid of those. They were painful to get and even more painful to deal with after. My RBC, however, is low causing me to be slightly anemic, but nothing to worry about. This should go away after my last chemo. Which, by the way, is FRIDAY. Radiation will start shortly after that...I'll get the exact date soon.

I have an appointment on the 24th for CBC (lab work) and then not again until December. Once radiation is done, I'll have another CAT scan to look for anything abnormal and we cross our fingers that there's nothing.

There's also a possiblity I won't get the Bleo on Friday. That's a 20-minute drip. I've had some shortness of breath and Bleo is known to cause lung damage. I don't think I have any damage, but we'll see on Friday what the verdict is.

That's about it. The check up was normal and that's all news I received. All in all, it was a good weekend. I had minimal side effects and I slept a little more than I have been, but am dead tired today. Okay then.

Thanks and goodnight!

Hmmmm....

I was supposed to write in this last night to appease some people at work (Melissa...), but I'm just too darn tired to think. So maybe this mini post will prompt me to write something more later. Doubtful, but there's always hope. :)

UPDATE (7:46PM): Happy October! Okay...I'll add to this now. I've had about 15 Cokes tonight, so I'm good to go now. We went to Chuck E. Cheese tonight for a school fundraiser. And by "we", I mean my mom, Matt and I. But only Matt and I played the games. Sad, huh? Almost 30 and still playing Skee-Ball. I did win a really cool, 3-tipped marker. Totally worth the 80 tickets.

I've felt the same after this chemo as after last. More tired. I seem to be so tired I can't function. I know it's just build up of chemo, working full-time, and insomnia but still. I find it nearly impossible to sleep despite those facts. The pain was back again on Tuesday on into today. It gets to it's worst on Wednesday and then gradually goes away. I took a Vicodin on Tuesday night (well, okay...2. One early, one very late.) They give me a little relief from pain and most of the time help with sleep. Not so this time. I was still up several hours later. Took another last night and same thing.

I was asked yesterday if this whole experience was as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yes and no. The experience sucks and I wish to never, ever have to go through it again. I can put on a brave face, but I have some really bad days. Some parts I was prepared for and others I was surprised by. I had the vision of a chemotherapy patient that most people do (and that Hollywood paints them to be): pale, drawn face, bald...sick and dying. But I'm not that. And neither are a lot of the others. You still look healthy and most people don't even know what you're going through. Now, granted, I've lost weight, some hair, and have dark circles under my eyes that make-up can't cover, but I look generally the same to the outside world. I was surprised by the fact that I'm not bedridden. I've mentioned this before, but I'd heard horror stories of nausea and not being able to get out of bed. I had none of that. I wasn't prepared for all the weird side effects and the pain. And, surprisingly, I wasn't prepared for the intensity of the fatigue. I knew I'd be tired, but sheesh.

Mom and I went out with chemo-friend Lisa on Tuesday night for dinner. She's currently battling breast cancer (you can read about it here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lisawilkinson). It was nice to see her in person again and swap chemo/radiation stories. We're going through similar treatments and it was fun sharing side effect stories. I'm a couple steps ahead of her in chemo and can let her know what to expect. She's already done radiation and was letting me know the same.

Wanted to share this article with you. Pass it on if you know any other chemo patients. Matt found this and forwarded it on to me: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081001/sc_nm/us_cancer_vitamin Good thing I haven't been taking my Emergen-C in the mornings. It lists one of the chemo drugs as doxorubicin, which is otherwise known as Adriamycin...the red death. Wow. Shocking stuff.

Okay. I think we're caught up now. I have another oncology appointment on Monday and my LAST CHEMO on Friday the 10th. I can't believe I've almost made it. I honestly didn't think I could--or would--on some days. But here I am. So close to the finish line.

Thanks and goodnight. :)

Chemo treatment #5

Yesterday was my next to last treatment! Yea!!! It certainly wasn't without problems, either.

Jessica was my nurse yesterday. Everytime I go for chemo, the nurses take blood from the mediport to test my WBC. Usually there's no problem. Blood flows like a river. Not yesterday. No blood. At ALL. Once the mediport is accessed by the needle, the nurses look for a blood return. This means that blood flows out of the port into the tube attached to the needle. This ensures that there are no clogs in the port. Once the blood comes out, the mediport is flushed and treatment begins. The nurses couldn't even get that yesterday. This happened on my very first treatment, but the nurses said that it usually does the first time. Jessica tried several things: I took deep breaths, coughed, leaned forward, layed back. Nothing worked. We finally got the blood return, but blood only trickled out after that. I was given a dose of Heparin and we let it sit for awhile. Finally Nurse Kelly came over and took the blood one syringe at a time. We got just enough to test it. This took about 30 minutes. I took my Tylenol and Benadryl while we waited for the labs. My blood came back good (3.3 actually) and the saline and Aloxi were started. My vitals were okay...had a little bit of a fever: temp: 99.2, BP: 126/81, pulse: 90.

After the Aloxi came the Ativan and the Bleomycin, the 20 minute drip. The push-in drugs (Adriamycin and Vinblastin) came next along with more blood problems. The nurses look for a blood return before the push-in drugs, as well. Guess what? No blood return then, either. I did all the tricks again and Nurse Kelly came over to help. We finally got a return and the push-in drugs were started. I was feeling very stingy with blood yesterday apparently. I was even trying to will the blood out! Ever tried that? It's harder than it sounds. Anyhow, after the push-ins came the Decarbazine and sleep. Pretty uneventful after that point. At the end, 2 saline push-ins flush the port followed by another dose of Heparin.

On another note, I wanted to thank my mom for the nice thing she did on Thursday. She decorated our school's lounge in purple (the color for lymphoma) with a purple cake to celebrate my good news. What a surprise!

I also want to thank my class (especially Erin) for the beautiful artwork that awaits me in the classroom on Monday morning after my chemo treatments:



Reminder: Don't forget about the walk! Go here: http://teams.lightthenight.org/PurplePeopleEaters_SouthernMethodistUniversity

I fight like a girl.

I heard from my doctor today about my PET scan results. She said they looked good and I'll only have to have 2 more treatments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That makes my last chemo treatment on October 10 instead of November 7. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!

Also...here's the info for the walk: http://teams.lightthenight.org/PurplePeopleEaters_SouthernMethodistUniversity

Now it's time for bed. Sorry for the short length. I just got home and am beat.

Thanks and goodnight! :)

More pets and walks...

My PET scan went well on Friday. As well as a PET scan can go anyway. When my name was finally called, Anthony, my tech, took me back to a room and drew blood. My blood sugar was tested (it was 94) and the glucose solution and radiotracers were injected. I remembered to bring a book, so the hour long wait was somewhat more tolerable this time. Anthony came back after the hour was up and the PET scan was started. There are 3 quick scans followed by a long scan. The long scan starts with me all the way through the other side of the machine. After about 5-6 minutes, the table you lay on moves about 3 inches. This continues until you're all the way through the other side of the machine. It's somewhat relaxing because of the repetition and then it's done. I'm waiting to hear the results, breath held in the meantime, and will post them as soon as I know. Good or bad...

I wrote in my last blog about the Light the Night walk in Colorado. I posted a link for pictures that my cousin, Shelley, took. All of my family are in them.

I almost have all the info for the Light the Night walk that's here. My librarian, Elaine, is setting it all up for me. Thank goodness! That's one less thing on my mind. I should have all info by tomorrow and will post that as soon as it's done. Thanks, Elaine!!!!

Since the majority of this blog is about the PET scan, I thought I'd post pictures of my other pets. I posted one of Phoebe back in August. Well...meet Peanut and Milo!

Peanut

Milo

That's all I have for now. Thanks and goodnight!

Pets, sweets and walks.

Tomorrow morning is my PET scan. (I tried to post another picture of it, but it was messing up the blog. If you want to see what it looks like, click here.) This will determine how many more chemo treatments I'll have. There are a lot of rules I have to follow to prepare for the test. One is no sugar or caffeine for 24 hours prior. During the summer when I had this done, it wasn't as hard to refrain. I did go to a wedding that day and wasn't allowed to eat cake, but other than that, I was okay. Oh...wait...there was the little matter of no coffee at that time. Okay...so maybe I wasn't okay after all. The point I'm trying to make, though, is that working and not eating sweets is much harder. When you work at a school, there are always a lot of sweets. Today there was chocolate cake for lunch, cupcakes in the lounge for a birthday, a baby shower after work...with cake. All of which I declined politely. There was even someone handing out homemade pralines in the halls! Thanks, Kathi. Sheesh...what a day for fasting. More rules to follow are drink lots of water, no strenuous activity or exercise and relax! Speaking of relaxing...

I came home early from work yesterday. I tried to get away the day before, but one of my kids wouldn't have it. So, I left yesterday and crashed. I'm not sure I've been this tired before. I didn't feel like I could even function. After all the other chemo treatments, I've had at least 3 days or so to rest, with one of them being Labor Day weekend. I didn't have that this time and I think it finally caught up with me. I slept for hours. Woke up to eat then slept until this morning. Was much, MUCH better today!!! My "skin" pain is gone, too. Yea!

On another note, most of my extended family live in Colorado. Tonight is their "Light the Night" walk. All of them are participating on my behalf. Light the Night benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. I've been talking to my cousin, Shelley, and just got off the phone with my aunt Marsha. They had a blast! There was free food from a variety of restaurants (Applebee's, Chipotle, Chicago's Best Pizza, etc.) as well as ice cream, chips, etc. They all got their faces painted with my name in purple. AND there were live bands. Go here to find one near you: lightthenight.org I'm in the process of getting a team set up for here on October 19th. Details to follow soon...

Well...I guess that's it for now. I'll write about how it goes tomorrow. Last time I was stuck in a room reading men's health magazines. What could be more fun? Wish me luck...

Short, but not-so-sweet.

Well...the side effects have all crept back up again. I ended up having some nausea on Saturday night. Lots o' insomnia. And for yesterday and today, I should just repost the blog "Ouch". Unfortunately, the weird skin-nerve-muscle pain is back. The whole "wearing clothes thing" is sort of a problem again, but my principal did confirm yesterday that there really is nothing in the dress code that says we have to wear clothes. And what a great science lesson! :)

Anyhow...this is just a quick update...on my way to work. Will update later...

Chemo treatment #4

I'M HALF WAY DONE!!!!! Yea!!!!

Yesterday was my fourth chemo treatment. That puts me at the halfway mark. All the specifics are the same as the other three. I had Nurse Katie again and all the drugs were the same. My vitals were good: temp: 98.6, BP: 126/89. There are 3 other drugs at the very end I don't think I've ever written about. All 3 are used to flush the mediport and reduce the risk of infection. One of those medicines is Heparin. Heparin is a blood thinner, or anticoagulant, used to prevent blood clots in your port catheter line. This is also the drug that Dennis Quaid's twins almost overdosed on. Not sure what the other 2 are, but I'll find out next time. All I know is they feel very cold while going through the port.

Speaking of, I'm not sure I ever really mentioned that about the chemo meds. They're below my body temperature. That's why I always get so cold during chemo. I didn't during this one, however. I was pretty comfortable. I slept again. So soundly that Matt had to shake my leg. I was breathing...um...loudly. :)

So far, the side effects have been minimum. No nausea or stomach cramps, but the dreaded insomnia is creeping back. It was after 3 this morning by the time I went to bed. I figure I can sleep all day if I want, so I'm not too concerned about it right now. And what a perfect day to stay in bed!!! These are my favorite types of days. I do plan on baking something today. I owe my brother something special. Apparently the cookies I sent the other day weren't enough. Yes, my only sibling whom I love, Mom told me. You're so busted...

That's all for now. I'll update later. :)

Radiation, schmadiation.

Today was my appointment with the radiation oncologist. We were taken back to a room where I was asked a million questions...about my health history, how I found my cancer, etc. I didn't know much about radiation except what I read in my book from the other day. Here's what I found out:

Cancer can be treated three ways: chemo, radiation or a combination of both. There's an increase in the chance of cancer coming back by doing just chemo or just radiation. Also, the side effects of each are worse because treatment is usually longer. By doing a combination of the two, there's a decrease in side effects and a decrease in the chance of the cancer coming back. My radiation will be external. The machine looks like this:


Each appointment will last about an hour. The actual radiation time is 1-5 minutes. The other 55-59 minutes will be spent getting me perfectly situated so the radiation hits in exactly the same place every time. Speaking of...

Up until this point, I was told radiation would only be done on my neck. Not so. It'll also be done on the middle part of my chest. More specifically, it'll target my windpipe where the cancer had spread. Now, in order for the same spot to be targeted every time, my skin will be marked with colored ink or tattooed with tiny dots.

I listed the majority of the side effects in the last blog. I will have 20 days of treatment, 5 days a week with Saturday and Sunday used for "rest time". Treatment will start 2-3 weeks after my last chemo.

I did ask about my chances of radiation causing a second cancer later in life. This was my main concern. According to the National Cancer Institute, cancer survivors have a 14 percent higher risk of developing a new primary malignancy compared with the general population. Basically that means my genetic makeup will make that more likely to happen because I already have cancer. Great. My doctor today confirmed that. For more information on second cancers, go here: http://www.cancer.gov/newscenter/benchmarks-vol7-issue1/page1 This will fill you in on radiation-related solid cancers and radiation-related leukemias.

Tomorrow is my next chemo. This will complete my 2nd cycle. Yea!!! I'll post about that later.

Thanks and goodnight.