Hmmmm....

I was supposed to write in this last night to appease some people at work (Melissa...), but I'm just too darn tired to think. So maybe this mini post will prompt me to write something more later. Doubtful, but there's always hope. :)

UPDATE (7:46PM): Happy October! Okay...I'll add to this now. I've had about 15 Cokes tonight, so I'm good to go now. We went to Chuck E. Cheese tonight for a school fundraiser. And by "we", I mean my mom, Matt and I. But only Matt and I played the games. Sad, huh? Almost 30 and still playing Skee-Ball. I did win a really cool, 3-tipped marker. Totally worth the 80 tickets.

I've felt the same after this chemo as after last. More tired. I seem to be so tired I can't function. I know it's just build up of chemo, working full-time, and insomnia but still. I find it nearly impossible to sleep despite those facts. The pain was back again on Tuesday on into today. It gets to it's worst on Wednesday and then gradually goes away. I took a Vicodin on Tuesday night (well, okay...2. One early, one very late.) They give me a little relief from pain and most of the time help with sleep. Not so this time. I was still up several hours later. Took another last night and same thing.

I was asked yesterday if this whole experience was as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yes and no. The experience sucks and I wish to never, ever have to go through it again. I can put on a brave face, but I have some really bad days. Some parts I was prepared for and others I was surprised by. I had the vision of a chemotherapy patient that most people do (and that Hollywood paints them to be): pale, drawn face, bald...sick and dying. But I'm not that. And neither are a lot of the others. You still look healthy and most people don't even know what you're going through. Now, granted, I've lost weight, some hair, and have dark circles under my eyes that make-up can't cover, but I look generally the same to the outside world. I was surprised by the fact that I'm not bedridden. I've mentioned this before, but I'd heard horror stories of nausea and not being able to get out of bed. I had none of that. I wasn't prepared for all the weird side effects and the pain. And, surprisingly, I wasn't prepared for the intensity of the fatigue. I knew I'd be tired, but sheesh.

Mom and I went out with chemo-friend Lisa on Tuesday night for dinner. She's currently battling breast cancer (you can read about it here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lisawilkinson). It was nice to see her in person again and swap chemo/radiation stories. We're going through similar treatments and it was fun sharing side effect stories. I'm a couple steps ahead of her in chemo and can let her know what to expect. She's already done radiation and was letting me know the same.

Wanted to share this article with you. Pass it on if you know any other chemo patients. Matt found this and forwarded it on to me: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081001/sc_nm/us_cancer_vitamin Good thing I haven't been taking my Emergen-C in the mornings. It lists one of the chemo drugs as doxorubicin, which is otherwise known as Adriamycin...the red death. Wow. Shocking stuff.

Okay. I think we're caught up now. I have another oncology appointment on Monday and my LAST CHEMO on Friday the 10th. I can't believe I've almost made it. I honestly didn't think I could--or would--on some days. But here I am. So close to the finish line.

Thanks and goodnight. :)