And another.

Today is my mom's birthday. For those of you who don't know me, she's...my mom. :)

My mom has been my rod and staff. Not just through the past couple of months. But always. If you know my mom, you've probably never seen her in a rotten mood. That's how she is at home, too. You rarely see her not smiling. My mom is the epitome of what a mom should be. One of the best memories I have to prove this is from high school. I was in band (yes, I'm one of those) and we used to have a lot of competitions. Every Saturday in October and then some throughout the year. My mom supported my brother and me through every one of these. She was always in the stands, rooting us on. In my family, we treated it like sports. :) When I was a junior, my mom and I got into a fight. Big surprise in high school (read that with a heavily sarcastic tone). It just so happened that this was the morning of a competition. I left for school. During the performance, I scanned the crowd for my mom. And didn't see her. My heart sank because she wasn't there. The performance ended and we all gathered in the parking lot to hear a "lecture" from the director. I'm thinking it was supposed to be a pep talk, but in high school, everything's a lecture. And there she was. On the outskirts of our circle...listening. Of course she'd been there the whole time. I just didn't see her because, come to find out, I had horrible vision and didn't wear contacts at the time.

And that's my mom. Her kids are her life. I work with her (I teach and she's the secretary at the same school) and my brother lives behind her. There's even a gate in the fence. I don't know how she did it, what her secret was/is, but when the time comes for me to have kids, I hope I can raise them to love me like my brother and I love her.

So, here's to my mom. You're one of the coolest people I know. Hope your birthday was fantastic and you enjoyed your night. I'll love you always!

And another...

Ha! Just kidding...though I won't be on Friday.  ;)

I had a doctor's appointment today with my oncologist. I had a ton of questions...some necessary, some out of curiosity. Here's the rundown:

I had my blood drawn. No bleeding all over the place. At least, I don't think. The gauze that's wrapped around it is red so it might be hard to tell. I filled out my here's-what's-happening-to-me-lately checklist that the nurse gets. It's a list of any possible symptoms that I might have. Very thorough. Good thing is there weren't quite as many "Y"'s circled. Finally getting around to some "N"'s! Vitals were: temp-97.6, blood pressure-122/64, pulse-80, weight-ha! yeah, right. After I got done talking to the nurse, my doctor came in. I did most of the talking. Here were my questions:

1.  I started yoga in January and ever since then my legs tingle.  This is caused by my vinblastine (one of my chemo drugs) and is called peripheral neuropathy.  Peripheral neuropathy usually improves a few months after treatment.  Not a big deal.  Annoying, but keep an eye on it.

2. How often do I need to get scans now? I'll have another one in about 6 months. Depending on how that turns out, it could be the last one. If I'm experiencing any symptoms after that (weight loss, night sweats, lumps), then I'll need to call immediately to have another one.

3. What are the chances of recurrence? About 10% or less. Yea! I was considered low risk. Of course, there's no guarantee. But in my case, those are my odds.

4. If there is a recurrence, is there a specific time to be aware of it? Yeah...the next 5 years. If it's going to reoccur, it's most likely to happen in the next 5 years. I think that's a pretty general time line for all cancer.

5.  Am I technically cured or in remission?  I got asked this by a lot of people.  Hodgkin's is curable.  However, I'm considered in remission until the next 5 years or so is up.  After there's no recurrence, then I can say I've been cured.  

Now for what she told me:

My lymphocyte count is down.  Lymphocytes are a type of white blood cell that produce antibodies.  This happens after chemo and is to be expected especially in Hodgkin's patients.  Mainly because Hodgkin's is a cancer originating from the lymphocytes.  Makes sense.  Also not a big deal.  She said it would take a long time to get those back up.  Like, years.  So if anyone else takes blood and notices that, I need to tell them why.  

Also...I can get my port out!  I was waiting for one clean scan before taking it out.  Now I have it and it's time to come out.  I have mixed emotions about it.  It doesn't bother me as much anymore.  Still hurts every now and again.  But...it's grown on me.  Literally and figuratively.  Still we must part.  I'm going to ask to keep it though.  :)

Oh!  And I'm thinking of writing a book.  I came across another patient who published his accounts of treatment and whatnot.  So I thought, why not??  We'll see what happens...

I hope that was everything.  I tried to remember it all. 

Okay...will post again soon.  Thanks for reading!       

And another...

Today is Peanut's birthday. He's our Dachshund and he's 6 years old.

Story time! When we got him, Matt and I weren't looking for a puppy. Our family dog, Mitzi, had recently passed away and Mom finally decided (with a little nudging from me) that it was time to get another puppy. One of the ladies at her school had a Dachshund that just had puppies. One day, she wanted to know if I would go over to the house to look at the pups. So we get there and go inside and there are all these little, tiny puppies running all over the place! There were 6 in the litter. Mom found the one she wanted...a little piebald pup with blue eyes named Lacey. As I'm sitting on the floor playing with the pups, one, his name was Dewey, starts playing tug-of-war with my shoelaces. He finally tires himself out and crawls into my lap. And falls asleep. Well...I knew at that moment I had to have him. But remember...we weren't looking.

The pups weren't quite ready to be given new homes, yet. So the weekend they were, the owner asked me if I could puppysit him. The others in the litter were going somewhere else and Mom was taking her new little one (now named Maggie) so I agreed. Matt was still hesitant. At the time, we had just moved in together and he didn't feel the timing was right. Until we walked in the door on Friday with the pups. We put them on the floor and they both went running right to him. That was it...he was hooked. Mom had them both for the night because Matt and I were going to be out late. When we left Mom's house, Dewey starts running after our car! The next morning Mom dropped them both off early because they had a Saturday work day. Matt came downstairs and said he wanted to keep him, too. We had gained a puppy and we named him Peanut.

So, here's to Peanut and Maggie! They're still as needy and spoiled as the day we got them. :)

Peanut

Maggie

I can see clearly now.

Results:  my scan came back clear!!!  It showed no activity, which would've suggested a recurrence. 

Since I was told I would get the results today or tomorrow, I started calling today.  I called around 2 and again around 3:30, actually talking to my nurse, Melissa.  She said she had the results, but my doctor hadn't looked at or signed them yet.  She had to talk to her first before releasing the results to me.  She said she'd call me right back.  On Thursdays and Fridays, we do yoga up at my school.  Do you know how hard it is to do yoga when you're waiting for a call like that?? I finally called her back at about 10 til 5.  That's when I got the news.  Good thing the school is nearly deserted at that hour.  I think the screaming between me, Mom, Erin and Amy would've frightened some kids.  Matt was thrilled, too.  He said he was having positive thoughts about it all day.  They certainly helped!  Everyone else was also excited...Bryan, Melony, my dad, Matt's parents, everyone who found out about it along the way (via Mom, me, Matt, etc).    

Anyway...I still have my appointment on Monday...I'm full of questions.  I'll write more when I find out more.  

Sorry this is short.  I'm full of pizza and tired.  :)

Thanks for reading.  Good night!!!

Pets and yes...another birthday.

Today is Milo's birthday. Milo is our cat. He's a year old today.

Here's the story of Milo: a co-worker of Matt's, and a friend of ours, found Milo sometime last April. Shortly before a fierce storm rolled through, she found him-alone and abandoned by his mom-on a picnic table outside of her mom's house. He was newly born. She took him home with her and bottle fed him until he was about 6 weeks old. He came home with us on June 1st. Both of our dogs immediately took to him. They play and wrestle and chase each other down the hall.

Now...Milo does rank up there on the meanest-cat-I've-ever-had list. I've only had one other cat meaner than him. He mainly is just playing...I guess he's not "technically" mean. But I do have some horrible scars on my arms from him.

Despite that...we love him. He even sleeps in bed with us (sometimes under the covers). We don't know his actual birthdate so we picked today for him.

So, here's to Milo. Thanks for giving me a running start to get into bed before you leap on and attach yourself to my leg. Every night. We love you and couldn't have found a better fit for our family.

For the next "pet" topic...today was my 3rd PET scan. The last scan I had in October came back good and told me I only needed 2 more chemo treatments. This time it'll tell me whether the cancer is still gone. My nerves are shot, to say the least. These last few months I've spent worrying about this day and now it's come and gone. And all together, wasn't too bad. :)

Mom and I took the day off from work. These appointments last anywhere from 2-3 hours so we figured we might as well just have the rest of the day for fun! Matt and I met Mom there this morning. In the way of how this appointment usually goes, today was no different. No sugar or caffeine for 24 hours prior so no coffee this morning. We waited in the waiting room for about 30 minutes. Anthony (my PET tech) called me back and took me to the same room I was in the previous 2 times. My blood was drawn and sugar checked. Next, a sugar solution was injected into my vein. Quite a bit of it, actually. I never noticed before how much they put in. It's cold and puts a slight SD alcohol taste in your mouth. When the needle is out, I head to the bathroom. Once the solution is injected, you're required to sit still and not talk to improve the effectiveness of the scan. I needed to go while I had the chance. When I look down at my arm, I notice the cotton ball is loose. I press down on it and it immediately soaks with blood. I go tell Anthony who then wraps my arm about 10 times with blue gauze. At least it matched my shirt. :) Oh...and see that mark to the left of the gauze that looks like a bruise? That's the remains of my initial Bleo allergy test. For some reason, it's still there and has yet to go away.

After my hour was up (which I spent reading and resting), I head to the dressing room and change into scrubs. The next hour is spent on the scan. The instructions are to hold your breath for certain periods of time while they do 3 specific scans. When those are done, the table starts at the back and moves a couple of inches to the front every 3 minutes. I tried hard to stay awake, but found myself dozing and before I knew it, Anthony was back to get me.

It doesn't sound hard and for the most part isn't. But it is tiring.

The rest of the day was spent eating and getting pedicures. Well...pedicures for mom and me. Matt was just there for the eating part. :) We also went out to dinner to celebrate Bryan's birthday.

I should, and hope to, get the results tomorrow or Friday. I'll update as soon as I do. For now, I'm going to eat some lemon cheesecake and head to bed. I'm beat.

Thanks for reading.

Another...

Today is Bryan's birthday. He's my brother, for those of you who don't know.

I've told stories about everyone else and today is no exception. My brother and I have always been very close. We rarely fought growing up and in high school, I considered him one of my best friends. He's 3 years older than I am. During a time when most siblings would tattle to their parents about the younger one tagging along, mine willing let me go and would often even invite me to go. His friends were mine and vice versa. We hung out together. And got in lots o' trouble together. ;)

Now don't get me wrong. He certainly picked on me when I was little. Like the time when I was 5 and he told me that these hid under the bed of 5-year-old girls and ate them while they were sleeping:

And would then leave it on my pillow for me. Or the time when he told me that McDonald's hamburgers were made of worms. Didn't eat another one of those until...oh...last year. Or the time when he thought he was clever and tried to sneak up on me and I back kicked him in the stomach. True story, though I'm sure he'll deny it. That was during my karate days. :) Or the time that he got my parents to play along (again, I was about 6 or 7) and convince me I was adopted. Oh yes. Good times, good times.

So, here's to my brother. You've always supported me, but your support and encouragment through these last few months has meant more to me than you know. I hope your birthday has been everything you dreamed. I love you! Now how about that tattoo??? :)

Month of Birthdays

April is my family's month to celebrate birthdays. Starting with mine on the 1st. Today is my dad's. My brother's, mom's, and animal's will also be this month.

I told you what my mom said on my birthday. A week after my first chemo, my dad came over for lunch. He mainly wanted to check on me and see how I was. We spent a couple hours talking and eating and laughing. As he was leaving, my dad said, "Sweetie, you are my hero." I have to admit something about this...it bothered me at first. I can only explain this by saying he's my dad. I'm his daughter...daughters are supposed to look up to their dads. He's supposed to be my hero. But then I realized, it can go both ways. My dad inspired me to get my masters degree. My dad started to get his, but didn't finish. (Really I'm just competitive and wanted to beat him. I win! :) )

My parent's play different roles in my life. My dad is the cautious one. He keeps me grounded and brings me back to reality. My mom is the dreamer. She's the one who tells me I can do anything. I need both roles in my life.

So, here's to my dad. I hope you had a wonderful birthday! Love you!

This day.

Today is my birthday.  

Today I am 30 years old.  

Today was a day of celebration.  

A celebration of family.  

A celebration of love.  

And most importantly, a celebration of life.

Today was a day to be thankful for living another year...no matter the age.  I've been called several things today (old hag, old lady, etc).  My girlfriend and co-worker, Erin, even made me a cake today with skulls and crossbones on it.  All in good fun, of course.  But here's the thing:  it's not important how old I am.  What's important is that I'm able to celebrate another year.  And at times recently, I didn't think that would be possible.  

I know that parents are supposed to love you unconditionally.  I also know that that doesn't happen to everyone and I count my lucky stars that mine do.  Tonight my mom told me she loved me.  That, to anyone who knows my family, isn't unusual.  But she also told me how excited she was 30 years ago.  How lucky she was to have me.  And I don't think a child ever gets tired of hearing that from a parent.  

So I wanted to thank everyone for all the kind words today.  And all of the birthday wishes.  And especially to everyone who took time out of their life to celebrate mine.  I don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday so much.

Good night.