Oh my...

Ever have one of those days you just want to forget about??? Mine was Thursday. I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist. All started out well. I was taken back to a room where my vitals were checked. All were good. Matt and I were taken to another room next, where I changed into a gown from the waist up. Finally (after 30 minutes or so) the doctor came in, commented that I still have my hair (which I do), checked my lymph nodes (which is done by EVERY doctor, EVERY time), and I was then informed that I was to have another CAT scan (yikes). I'm okay with CAT scans...usually. This one was somewhat different.

The machine was the same. I layed down on the table and was hooked up to an IV that was later used to inject dye into my veins (not the first time this has been done). Now, the point of this was to find the exact places on my body that the radiation is to hit. There are lasers on the ceiling that pointed down to my neck and chest. I had 3 nurses/techs during the whole process...2 female, 1 male. (The "male" part becomes important later.) I'm marked with Sharpie--yes, Sharpie--down the middle of my face to my nose and again on my chin. The nurse promises this will come off (fortunately, it does). Now my gown is open and I'm also marked on my chest. This is where the "male" part comes in...the whole "gown open" thing is kinda uncomfortable. Since I'm laying there forever like this, I also kinda forget about it. It becomes the least of my problems soon. I'm run back and forth through the machine several times. Each time I come out, I'm checked to see if I moved from the original point of entry, which is marked by the lasers on the ceiling. I was doing pretty good. Didn't move too much. Then I was told I was going to have to wear a radiation mask. It kinda looked like Pinhead:Except replace the pins with mesh holes. Okay, fine. You got me. The actually masked looked like this:I had 2 tiny holes for the eyes and 1 tiny hole for the nostrils and mouth. That's the only difference. The mask is warm, gooey and wet when first placed over your head. The nurses informed me it would feel much like a facial. I have to admit...I was a little excited. That is until they strapped it down to the table and it hardens. Gets a little claustraphobic. I started to panic. I asked (through clenched teeth) how long I'd have to wear it. 10 more minutes, they say. Why? Are you getting nervous?? Uh...YEAH. You could say that. I finally realized I could open my eyes and that helped a bit. 10 minutes in that thing feels like an eternity. Finally, the real CAT scan was done. Once without dye, once with dye. I was finally taken off the IV and the mask was taken off. Next came the tattoos.

When you start radiation, the places on your body are usually marked with marker or permanent ink. I got permanent ink. 3 of them the old fashion way. I was swabbed with alcohol under my chest...on either side of my rib cage and right in the middle. This is all for radiation that will hit a specific spot on my windpipe. After the alcohol came a dab of ink. A needle was pushed into the ink after that. I have 3 dots now that will forever remind me of this. Like I really need a permanent reminder. Oh my...

I left there shaking and crying. I couldn't even tell Matt what had happened. He left soon after to get some stuff from home for me. I was taken a little off guard with the mask. It freaked me out. I have to wear it every single time for radiation so that my head doesn't move. A minimum of 15 minutes. Keep in mind that the radiation is 5 days a week for 20 days. I called my mom sobbing. She thought I got bad news. Once I explained the story, I calmed down a bit. But still...my palms sweat just thinking about it. Oh...did I mention they also took several pictures of me? Yeah, that's right. Pictures. Half naked, with the mask, without the mask. These are used for positioning later. Whatever. I'm going to search the Internet for them. Just in case... :)

Here are some good things I heard while lying on the table half naked:
From the male tech--I have a tattoo on my foot of puzzle pieces for autism..."I LOVE that tattoo...how cool!" and "Wow...she's nice and skinny." (This is while laying on the table half undressed.)
From the female nurses--while putting on the mask..."We've never seen someone with such a symmetrical face...the holes fit your face perfectly." I guess that's good...I took it as a compliment.

Now on a lighter side, Matt and I went to play pool tonight. It's been years since I've played. Nothing like a few games of pool (and a few pitchers of beer) to bring out the sailor in me. I have to admit, I was cussing quite a bit. I did win, however...5-4. Two games of 8 ball and the rest were 9 ball. Yea for me! Sorry, Matt, but I won fair and square.

Time for bed now. I've been sleeping quite a bit and am finally able to...guess I'm catching up on the 2 1/2 months I haven't slept. Just in time for radiation...which will also make me tired. Joy.

Thanks for reading. Goodnight, folks.