Oh my... (part 2)

So I got a call on Monday morning from Richard, the male tech. Apparently my neck positioning was wrong and they wanted me to come in and redo the mask and have a new CAT scan done. Oh my. Actually, it was more of a chin thing...it needed to be higher. As if my experience wasn't horrible enough the first time, I had to go in and do it all over again. Yippee! Let me interrupt here to tell a funny story...on my message from Richard, he mentioned the fact that we had met "briefly" the previous week. Uh...yeah...you could say that. When you've seen me half naked, I'd pretty much say we're like this:

Back to the story...I went in Tuesday afternoon and made a new mask. It was certainly as terrifying as the first time, but I did it. I thought knowing what to expect might help, and it did a little, but I still hated it.

Today I went in for what was called "verification". During this process, you actually go back to the treatment room. You lay on the table, the mask is put on (much tighter fit to the face than when making it, I might add) and x-rays are taken. This takes about 45 minutes. They line up the machine to the tattoos and then they marked all over my neck and chest in Sharpie again. I got 2 new tattoos and some pretty visible markings that must stay for the duration of radiation. They look like this:

One right in the middle of my neck and the other almost right in the middle of my chest. These markings are made with Sharpie and covered in tape so they last longer. You can actually see the remnants of leftover Sharpie all over my chest around these markings. Right in the center of each of these are the new tattoos that will be there forever. This was done the same way as the other three. That brings my total up to 5. They kinda look like gun targets. Matt thinks I should go as a sniper victim for Halloween. I think I maybe could work with that...

Debra, the nurse, told me they got my films done on the first try and that's rare. Either I'm really good at holding perfectly still or she's just full of compliments. So that concludes the preliminary portion of my radiation. The next step is actual radiation which will start on Monday afternoon. This schedule should put my last week of radiation around the first of December. There will be side effects with radiation and my most prominent one will probably be a sore throat. A lot of the side effects are the same as chemo: fatigue, nausea, etc. I'll post more about those later.

Thanks and goodnight.

Oh my...

Ever have one of those days you just want to forget about??? Mine was Thursday. I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist. All started out well. I was taken back to a room where my vitals were checked. All were good. Matt and I were taken to another room next, where I changed into a gown from the waist up. Finally (after 30 minutes or so) the doctor came in, commented that I still have my hair (which I do), checked my lymph nodes (which is done by EVERY doctor, EVERY time), and I was then informed that I was to have another CAT scan (yikes). I'm okay with CAT scans...usually. This one was somewhat different.

The machine was the same. I layed down on the table and was hooked up to an IV that was later used to inject dye into my veins (not the first time this has been done). Now, the point of this was to find the exact places on my body that the radiation is to hit. There are lasers on the ceiling that pointed down to my neck and chest. I had 3 nurses/techs during the whole process...2 female, 1 male. (The "male" part becomes important later.) I'm marked with Sharpie--yes, Sharpie--down the middle of my face to my nose and again on my chin. The nurse promises this will come off (fortunately, it does). Now my gown is open and I'm also marked on my chest. This is where the "male" part comes in...the whole "gown open" thing is kinda uncomfortable. Since I'm laying there forever like this, I also kinda forget about it. It becomes the least of my problems soon. I'm run back and forth through the machine several times. Each time I come out, I'm checked to see if I moved from the original point of entry, which is marked by the lasers on the ceiling. I was doing pretty good. Didn't move too much. Then I was told I was going to have to wear a radiation mask. It kinda looked like Pinhead:Except replace the pins with mesh holes. Okay, fine. You got me. The actually masked looked like this:I had 2 tiny holes for the eyes and 1 tiny hole for the nostrils and mouth. That's the only difference. The mask is warm, gooey and wet when first placed over your head. The nurses informed me it would feel much like a facial. I have to admit...I was a little excited. That is until they strapped it down to the table and it hardens. Gets a little claustraphobic. I started to panic. I asked (through clenched teeth) how long I'd have to wear it. 10 more minutes, they say. Why? Are you getting nervous?? Uh...YEAH. You could say that. I finally realized I could open my eyes and that helped a bit. 10 minutes in that thing feels like an eternity. Finally, the real CAT scan was done. Once without dye, once with dye. I was finally taken off the IV and the mask was taken off. Next came the tattoos.

When you start radiation, the places on your body are usually marked with marker or permanent ink. I got permanent ink. 3 of them the old fashion way. I was swabbed with alcohol under my chest...on either side of my rib cage and right in the middle. This is all for radiation that will hit a specific spot on my windpipe. After the alcohol came a dab of ink. A needle was pushed into the ink after that. I have 3 dots now that will forever remind me of this. Like I really need a permanent reminder. Oh my...

I left there shaking and crying. I couldn't even tell Matt what had happened. He left soon after to get some stuff from home for me. I was taken a little off guard with the mask. It freaked me out. I have to wear it every single time for radiation so that my head doesn't move. A minimum of 15 minutes. Keep in mind that the radiation is 5 days a week for 20 days. I called my mom sobbing. She thought I got bad news. Once I explained the story, I calmed down a bit. But still...my palms sweat just thinking about it. Oh...did I mention they also took several pictures of me? Yeah, that's right. Pictures. Half naked, with the mask, without the mask. These are used for positioning later. Whatever. I'm going to search the Internet for them. Just in case... :)

Here are some good things I heard while lying on the table half naked:
From the male tech--I have a tattoo on my foot of puzzle pieces for autism..."I LOVE that tattoo...how cool!" and "Wow...she's nice and skinny." (This is while laying on the table half undressed.)
From the female nurses--while putting on the mask..."We've never seen someone with such a symmetrical face...the holes fit your face perfectly." I guess that's good...I took it as a compliment.

Now on a lighter side, Matt and I went to play pool tonight. It's been years since I've played. Nothing like a few games of pool (and a few pitchers of beer) to bring out the sailor in me. I have to admit, I was cussing quite a bit. I did win, however...5-4. Two games of 8 ball and the rest were 9 ball. Yea for me! Sorry, Matt, but I won fair and square.

Time for bed now. I've been sleeping quite a bit and am finally able to...guess I'm catching up on the 2 1/2 months I haven't slept. Just in time for radiation...which will also make me tired. Joy.

Thanks for reading. Goodnight, folks.

Lights, nights and parties.

Sunday night was the Light the Night walk in Dallas. We had over 40 people on our team and so far have raised over $1900!!! We had a ton of fun! They were giving away lots of free stuff...pedometers, bracelets, lapel pins for lymphoma, etc. I even got a green "survivor" shirt and candle for writing my story down. Everyone on the team carried red balloons for support. I carried a gold one for memory of a loved one lost (my Oma died from multiple myeloma) and a white one...because I have it. Funny thing is I only saw 3 other white balloons. Hmmmm...anyhow. Thank you to the following people who came to walk with me: Mom, Dad, Matt, Bryan, Melony, Todd, Oscar, Kathy, Jill, Brad, Matt P., Megan, Elaine, Laura, Amanda, Christine, Alex, Janette, Cindy, Kathi, Paul, Erin, Jason, Brendan, Kim, Brandon, Darcy, Sarah, Rachel, Lauren, Melissa, April, Stephanie, Jeannette, Tore, Dolly, Larry, Jordan, Lisa, Roslyn, and Alma.

I have to make a correction about my last blog. My mom wanted me to write that while the news of my brother and sister-in-law's upcoming birth is exciting, the best news our family received was my near cancer-free diagnosis. Sorry Bryan and Mel. But I am short and unloved. :)

I have a radiation oncology appointment set for Thursday morning for planning. They'll mark my radiation spots then using either marker or permanent inking (like a tattoo). I'll get my schedule of radiation then, as well. Hopefully it'll start next week. Starting next week would put me finished the week before Thanksgiving!!! That's what I'm hoping for. I do know it's 5 days a week for 20 days. I also have CBC on Friday (that's a fancy way of saying "blood test"). I'm hoping for good results from that, too.

Alrighty...well that's it. I posted pictures of Light the Night and of my Purple Party. So many people had cameras at the walk. I'm trying to get them all and will post them as they come in.

Thanks for reading!

Good days!

I meant to write about this on Tuesday night, but, alas, was just too darn tired. And again on Wednesday. And again on Thursday. :)

I felt somewhat better on Monday after the not-so-great weekend. My Tuesday was packed full of good news and fun things. First off...MY BROTHER, BRYAN, AND SISTER-IN-LAW, MELONY, ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They found out the good news (officially) on Tuesday. Yea!!!! This is the most exciting and best news our family has had in the past couple of months. I can't wait to spoil the little brat silly. My prediction is a girl. :)

Also on Tuesday, my staff threw me a surprise "Purple Party" to celebrate my last chemo. Did you catch the word "surprise"??? I don't do surprises well. I turn beet red. Okay...I mean even more red than I already am. Everyone had on purple and Cindy, our PTA president and my sub on chemo days, made everyone purple ribbons to wear. We had purple cake (well...purple icing!) and purple punch. We even had purple chocolate-covered pretzels with purple sprinkles! Everyone on the staff pitched in to buy something purple. You wouldn't believe the amount of purple stuff in the world! I got all the following...in purple...: nail polish, nail polish remover, socks, candles, candy, lotion, a feather boa, pom-poms, gum, pencil case, brownie mix with spatula, Halloween towels, Halloween martini glass, picture album...the list goes on and on! I have pictures of everything that our art teacher, Amanda, took. I'll post them later.

AND on Tuesday, Matt and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary! I'm all about pictures (in case you couldn't tell) so if you want to see wedding and honeymoon pics, go here: kimandmatt.shutterfly.com. Our "dating" anniversary was Friday the 10th...11 years. Dorky, I know. For those of you who don't know our life histories, Matt and I met in preschool. We were in the same 3 year old class. I have a class pic of us in kindergarten. I'll try to find that and post it on here. Here's us in kinder at our Christmas program and at Matt's 5 year old birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's.

We went our separate ways in elementary and middle school and met back up again in high school. Ironically, we didn't start dating until the summer after graduation-though I did attend many an Ed Banky's Car show during high school. :) We were married in the same church that we went to preschool.


That's it for now. Don't forget the walk is on Sunday. It's not too late to join or donate. We'd love to have you there!!! http://teams.lightthenight.org/PurplePeopleEaters_SouthernMethodistUniversity


Thanks and goodnight.

Chemo treatment #6

Well...this is it. The last time I'll have to write about chemo. Ever. Hopefully. :)

I had my last chemo on Friday. Matt was there (as always) and this time, my mom came with us. She got to see how truly boring it is and she also got to see all the crap they put me through. For instance, I'm having trouble giving blood. Apparently, my body is dry and the chemo is turning me into a vampire. Hence the not sleeping, too. Okay...maybe I'm reading too many vampire books. But really...my body is refusing to give blood. I had nurse Kelly this time. In order to try to get blood, I leaned forward with my hands on Kelly's shoulders. No go. I leaned all the way back in the chair with my arms over my head. Still no. I hummed. That apparently opens some vein that my port is attached to or something like that. That didn't work either, but it sure made us laugh. I was finally given a dose of Alteplase, a blood thinner that's slightly stronger than Heparin. After sitting for about 15 minutes, we tried again and finally the blood started flowing. This whole process took a total of about 45 minutes. Sheesh. You can see the pictures of each one of these in the my last chemo album.

I was not given the Bleomycin this time because on Monday I reported having shortness of breath to my doctor. As I wrote earlier, the Bleo is known to cause lung damage. She nixed it this time, just in case. With the Bleo, I get Tylenol and Benadryl, so I didn't get those, either. I still got the Ativan, the push-in drugs and the Decarbazine. All in all, we left about 30 minutes earlier than usual.

I got a lot of presents on Friday. When I got to the chemo lounge, there were flowers in my seat. (I have a regular seat...I sit in it every time. Of course, this last time, my seat was taken by some lady. Who does she think she is??? :) I ended up having to sit next to her. Then I changed seats again. She left about 15 minutes later so I moved to MY seat. Kelly was very patient...) Anyhow, back to the flowers. They were beautiful petite roses from my in-laws in fall colors. What a surprise! I also got a visit from Lisa, my chemo buddy. She brought me some wonderful smelling lavendar lotion and bath salt (which I used last night). When I got home, there was an "I love you" balloon with a Starbucks card attached to it from Matty. My brother and sister-in-law and my brother's boss also give me presents every chemo Friday. I've gotten Halloween decorations, cookbooks, candy, lavendar scented things (lotion, air freshener, etc), body lotions, and many other things.

Yesterday was the worst I've felt after chemo. I was so nauseous, I took one of my other anti-nausea pills in addition to the 2 I take for 3 days after. It helped a little, but certainly not enough. It was the only time during this that I was truly bedridden. Thank God I'm done! I'm better today...just exhausted. Fortunately tomorrow is a student holiday so I'll be in a meeting all day. At least that's somewhat relaxing.

Well, that's it for now. The side effects will come on soon and I'll post about those for the LAST time as well. :) In 2-3 weeks, I'll start radiation and (hopefully) be cancer-free!

Also...don't forget about the walk. It's next Sunday and we'd love to have YOU there! http://teams.lightthenight.org/PurplePeopleEaters_SouthernMethodistUniversity

Thanks for reading!

Just to reiterate...

MY LAST CHEMO IS TOMORROW! YIPPEE!

That is all. :)

More good news!

I saw my oncologist today for a check up. I had blood drawn, then had my vitals checked: temp: 98.2, BP: 137/82. I was weighed, too, but I won't put that on here. :) I have, despite my best effort, gained 2 pounds. And by "best", I mean "not really trying". 2 pounds is tragic, I know. But I see this as an opportunity to indulge in anything I feel like. For instance, at the Fair on Saturday, Mom and I had every fried food possible. Oh wait...we do that every year. Hmmm...okay...well...I have been drinking a lot of Coke. Now that's something that's rare for me. Enough rambling. Let's get to the good stuff...

Here's what she said: my WBC is good...no more Neupogen shots!!! Yea!! My last one was last night. One step closer to being done. I'm glad to be rid of those. They were painful to get and even more painful to deal with after. My RBC, however, is low causing me to be slightly anemic, but nothing to worry about. This should go away after my last chemo. Which, by the way, is FRIDAY. Radiation will start shortly after that...I'll get the exact date soon.

I have an appointment on the 24th for CBC (lab work) and then not again until December. Once radiation is done, I'll have another CAT scan to look for anything abnormal and we cross our fingers that there's nothing.

There's also a possiblity I won't get the Bleo on Friday. That's a 20-minute drip. I've had some shortness of breath and Bleo is known to cause lung damage. I don't think I have any damage, but we'll see on Friday what the verdict is.

That's about it. The check up was normal and that's all news I received. All in all, it was a good weekend. I had minimal side effects and I slept a little more than I have been, but am dead tired today. Okay then.

Thanks and goodnight!

Hmmmm....

I was supposed to write in this last night to appease some people at work (Melissa...), but I'm just too darn tired to think. So maybe this mini post will prompt me to write something more later. Doubtful, but there's always hope. :)

UPDATE (7:46PM): Happy October! Okay...I'll add to this now. I've had about 15 Cokes tonight, so I'm good to go now. We went to Chuck E. Cheese tonight for a school fundraiser. And by "we", I mean my mom, Matt and I. But only Matt and I played the games. Sad, huh? Almost 30 and still playing Skee-Ball. I did win a really cool, 3-tipped marker. Totally worth the 80 tickets.

I've felt the same after this chemo as after last. More tired. I seem to be so tired I can't function. I know it's just build up of chemo, working full-time, and insomnia but still. I find it nearly impossible to sleep despite those facts. The pain was back again on Tuesday on into today. It gets to it's worst on Wednesday and then gradually goes away. I took a Vicodin on Tuesday night (well, okay...2. One early, one very late.) They give me a little relief from pain and most of the time help with sleep. Not so this time. I was still up several hours later. Took another last night and same thing.

I was asked yesterday if this whole experience was as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yes and no. The experience sucks and I wish to never, ever have to go through it again. I can put on a brave face, but I have some really bad days. Some parts I was prepared for and others I was surprised by. I had the vision of a chemotherapy patient that most people do (and that Hollywood paints them to be): pale, drawn face, bald...sick and dying. But I'm not that. And neither are a lot of the others. You still look healthy and most people don't even know what you're going through. Now, granted, I've lost weight, some hair, and have dark circles under my eyes that make-up can't cover, but I look generally the same to the outside world. I was surprised by the fact that I'm not bedridden. I've mentioned this before, but I'd heard horror stories of nausea and not being able to get out of bed. I had none of that. I wasn't prepared for all the weird side effects and the pain. And, surprisingly, I wasn't prepared for the intensity of the fatigue. I knew I'd be tired, but sheesh.

Mom and I went out with chemo-friend Lisa on Tuesday night for dinner. She's currently battling breast cancer (you can read about it here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lisawilkinson). It was nice to see her in person again and swap chemo/radiation stories. We're going through similar treatments and it was fun sharing side effect stories. I'm a couple steps ahead of her in chemo and can let her know what to expect. She's already done radiation and was letting me know the same.

Wanted to share this article with you. Pass it on if you know any other chemo patients. Matt found this and forwarded it on to me: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081001/sc_nm/us_cancer_vitamin Good thing I haven't been taking my Emergen-C in the mornings. It lists one of the chemo drugs as doxorubicin, which is otherwise known as Adriamycin...the red death. Wow. Shocking stuff.

Okay. I think we're caught up now. I have another oncology appointment on Monday and my LAST CHEMO on Friday the 10th. I can't believe I've almost made it. I honestly didn't think I could--or would--on some days. But here I am. So close to the finish line.

Thanks and goodnight. :)