Dreams and sleep, sleep and dreams.

I don't have much to report in the way of radiation side effects (just a constant sore throat, itching at radiation site, fatigue), so I thought today I would just...write.

For the past couple of months, I've had horrible nightmares. I first remember this starting around May. It happened every night. But not the same nightmare over and over. It was always different. And real. They weren't the kind that you wake up and remember and then feel stupid for being frightened by them. When I say "real", I mean REAL. Stuff that could actually happen. I was unnerved enough by them, that I would avoid the places in them--for fear it might be a premonition of events to happen.

Have I mention that I'm very superstitious? I do things that would seem silly to most people, but make perfect sense to me. For instance, I changed shampoos right after chemo. Then I thought my hair was falling out faster, so I switched back. Somehow the Cowboys seem to lose when I watch it with other people, but win when I don't. So I usually end up watching it alone. Stuff like that.

Back to the dreams...I once had a dream about Target, guns and this specific pink purse. I was telling it to my mom the day after. We stayed away from Target for a couple of days...just in case. One day after work, we decided to go and look around. We have one just down the street from our school, so we do that randomly...not for anything in particular, just to walk aimlessly and browse with a cup of coffee. This Target is set up differently from the ones I'm used to. The purses are right in the front of the store. We walk in and right there hanging in the front is the pink purse. Same exact one. Sent chills down my spine. If not for my mom being there, I'd have turned and walked out.

Shortly after chemo started, sleep evaded me. What little sleep I did get was still plagued with these nightmares. I was happy and a little relieved to not be sleeping so often, despite the fact that I whined and complained about how tired I was. But lately sleep has been different. I've slept so soundly that I don't remember my dreams as often. Being sleep deprived for 4 months is helping with that, I'm sure. The nightmares still creep in there, though. But not every night, as before. I view it as a small victory.

Friday night, Mom and I went to the Neiman Marcus lighting in downtown Dallas. Yes, we realize it's a little early for Christmas lights, but the weather was perfect (windy and cold!) and we had a lot of fun. Here are some pictures from it:

That's it for now, folks. Thanks for reading!