A year ago today...

...is when it all began.  I found my lump on March 22nd of last year.  I thought I'd written about it in my blog somewhere, but can't seem to find it.  Anyhow, here's a recap:  last year at this time, we were car hunting.  We had looked at many cars, but decided on our current car, a Volvo.  In between negotiations, we left and went to Starbucks.  On the way there, I was playing with the chain on my necklace and felt it.  A lump.  I was instantly worried.  When we got to Starbucks, I went into the bathroom for a closer look.  Yep...definitely a lump.  

I told Matt about it and made him feel it.  He guessed it was probably stress from the car stuff.  I don't really remember much else about how I felt that day.  Right after we bought the car, we went to Matt's sister's house for dinner.  Then on to my Mom's and brother's to show them--the car, not the lump.  I remember mentioning it to them and I even believe I said it was cancer.  I joked about it a lot...saying it was cancer.  Many o' people can (unfortunately) testify to that.  I knew it was...I think you just know.  You have that nagging feeling that won't go away.   

I've learned a lot since all of this.  One thing is to live life.  Do the things you want.  You know the one thing I've always to do???  Counsel prisoners.  Spare me the lecture, Mom.  :)  I started the process last summer before my diagnosis.  But on teaching instead of counseling.  The FCI in Fort Worth was looking for Special Education Teachers.  Just as I started the process, I was diagnosed and told to only work part-time.  Well, that never happened, but I did quit my in-home training I did afterschool (per my oncologist) so working at the prison, as well, was a definite no-no.  But not this summer!  I look forward to taking on a new challenge and helping people succeed...which is what my life is intended for.  Now...who wants to go with me???  :)

The date is set.

I was going through some pictures and found the one of my bald spot from radiation. Here it is:

Crazy, no?  It's starting to grow back now, though.  The rest of my hair is about an inch or so long now, too.  

I've been anxiously awaiting the date for my next PET scan. Yesterday, when Matt and I got home from a night out with our friends, Brad and Jill, there it was. In the mail. My fate sealed in a little envelope. The date?? April 15th. Tax day. Oh, the irony.

Now it's time for some truth. I'm only saying "truth" because what follows isn't my usual optimistic self. "How do you feel now?" is a question I'm asked quite frequently. Physically, I'm getting there. I'm giving myself 6 months to recoup. Mentally, however, is a different story. I was told...well, ordered really...in December to live my life. I've been trying really hard to do that. But...the thought of the cancer coming back is always in the back of my mind. Sometimes in the front, too. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. I got some relief at the beginning of February when my radiation oncologist released me from his care. I'm hoping to get even more after my PET scan. Just to know it's officially gone. Still.

When I was done in December, I didn't have a PET scan to show that the cancer was totally gone. I was diagnosed cancer-free just after my oncologist examined me and after a blood test. But I don't trust my blood tests. They deceived me before when they never showed signs of cancer prior to my diagnosis. So until I have another scan, it's always there. Haunting me. Every time I'm not hungry or wake up sweating in the middle of the night or have a slight fever, I think "Is this it? Is it starting to happen again?" You can say what you want...call me paranoid, tell me not to worry. But it's there. And it's real to me. I'm around cancer everyday. I hear of it or see it on t.v. or get emails about it or hear from my friends that are still going through it. Friends who had it and now it's come back.

Phew. Well that's done, out in the open and I feel better.  This is like having my own private (free) therapist.  And I need to thank my brother, Bryan, in advance.  My scan is the day after his birthday.  If you've read about my scans here before, you'll know that means no caffeine or sugar 24 hours prior to the exam, so NO BIRTHDAY CAKE.  He told me he'd postpone the cake part of his birthday until the next day after my scan.  Sweet, huh?  Of course, he also told me it would cost me more presents.  A year supply of these okay? 

Thanks for reading.  Hope I didn't depress anyone.  :)  

I promise to do better...

Well...I told you that wouldn't work. Thanks to Jessica who still had faith in me at 10:30 at night. :)

I've been wanting to write, but just can't seem to get my head organized enough to even think about what to write. So I made myself a list. Yes...a list of stuff to write about. Who'd of thunk? So here goes...

I had a wonderful surprise on my last day of radiation and thought I mentioned it. When I went back to check, I realized I hadn't written about it. On my last day of radiation, which was Decemberd 3rd, my husband surprised me with a massage! He told me to keep an hour open and he took me to Starbucks first (yum!) then on to a Swedish massage place. It was a wonderful way to end treatment! Since we're on the subject of Matt, I also got an Edible Arrangement for Valentine's Day! Here it is:

And let me tell you, it was delicious! The chocolate-covered cinnamon sprinkled apples were my favorite. Mmmm....

My appointment with my radiation oncologist was last Wednesday. Trust me...I had really, really good intentions of writing about it then. Really! Anyway, he did a thorough check of all my lymphnodes (even checking the ones in my elbows and knees), said they all felt great, and officially released me from his care! I will (hopefully) never have to see him ever again. No offense, Dr. John. I have a scan in 2 months, and praying that comes back clean, I'll be getting my port out. It will be missed...but I am requesting to keep it. Gross, I know.

In other news, our school raised $2404.82 for the Pasta for Pennies! I was blown away by this. We're a Title I school. This means that a high percentage of our students are on free/reduced lunch. Even with that, this shows how giving and caring our students are. They gave up snack money, chore money, allowances, etc. just to help other people. One girl worked the whole weekend to earn $20 and gave the whole thing. I was so touched by this. Now...on the same topic...my class won! We raised a total of $357.58!!! Go SLC!!!! Now we get a pasta party from Olive Garden. Mmmm-mmm!

We have an email that goes out to our whole district everyday with news from different schools. I made it in! This is what it said:

From the Department of "That's What I'm Talking About!!"
Mike Moseley Elementary school participated in The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Pennies for Patients program and raised $2,404.82! Mrs. Kimberly Riggle, SLC teacher, was Moseley’s honored hero. She was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in July and recently received a clean bill of health from her radiation oncologist! Students brought in huge bags of coins, donated their snack money, and even did chores at home to earn money for this worthy cause. We are so proud of these caring students and staff members. Thanks to Tore Terry, Moseley’s school counselor.

I also had someone from the Special Ed department come out to take my picture with my principal for an article on me in the Special Ed newsletter for Teacher of the Year.

Annnnnddddd...I've also started yoga! I had been walking, too, but I think it's too much too soon. I walk every once in a while, but yoga is what fills my days. I love it! We've been doing it afterschool as part of our wellness program. I even got Mom in there doing the warrior! Go Mom!


P.S. That's not my mom.

I promise to try to do better to update this when I have something to say instead of waiting so long.

Thanks for reading! G'night!

Promises, promises...

I promise to update this tonight...I promise to update this tonight...I promise to update this tonight.  Yeah...we'll see if that works.

Ketchup

Ha! According to my previous blog, I was to post pictures of my bulletin board "tomorrow". Tomorrow...2 1/2 weeks. Eh...it's all the same these days. Anyhow, here you go:

Our school's goal was to raise $1,000. The first week we had about $600. The second week, we were over $1,000. I'm not sure of the total for this week, but the last I heard, we were close to $3,000! Class winners will be announced on Monday. Cross your fingers and wish us luck! Almost all of my kiddos brought money. I was so proud of them when they brought it in. AND they were so proud to pour the money into our jar.

I have so much to write about and, yet, nothing at all. I actually started writing this Friday night. My thoughts are so jumbled lately, I can't seem to get organized enough to write anything coherent. Okay, let's see. I went in and talked to one of our 3rd grade classes last week about lymphoma. It was eye-opening to hear some of the questions they had. I'm not sure I would've known what to ask about cancer when I was 8. What else? A friend of mine at work, Melissa, bought me some Cancer Vixen soap. It's a very interesting story. You can read the story and order products here.

Okay...hmmm...chemo brain has definitely taken effect today. Maybe I'll think of some other things to say and write again later. Sorry for this mess.

Pennies for Patients and/or Pasta for Pennies

Our school is hosting a donation drive/service project for Pennies for Patients and/or Pasta for Pennies (I've heard both ways) sponsored by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The class that gets the most money, gets a pasta party provided by Olive Garden. Oh...and it benefits cancer patients, like me. But really...that's beside the point. We want PASTA! This is the first year our school has done this and I'm their "honored hero". There's even a whole bulletin board by the cafeteria dedicated to me. I know what you're thinking...me, me, me! Oh, no wait. That's what I'm thinking! I always said the world would be a much nicer place if it revolved around me. Kidding! (Though probably not according to my brother!) Anyway...the project and bulletin board were coordinated by our counselor, Tore. I'm going to take a picture of the board tomorrow and post it then. My sister-in-law, Melony, wrote the bio for me. This is what it says:

Kimberly Riggle has been teaching children with autism in Grand Prairie for the past five years. Teaching students with special needs takes a very special person and that is exactly what Kim is. To take words directly from her, "I don't teach ordinary kids...my kids are the most amazing kids ever. They struggle through day to day activities, never giving up. In our class, we don't celebrate test grades or well written essays. We have small victory parties and tears over tying shoes for the first time or swinging by yourself on the playground without help." You can hear the passion and love she has for her kids in her words, her attitude and her actions. Teaching students with this kind of passion in itself makes her a great candidate for honored hero for the Pennies for Patients campaign. This commendable feat is enough for any person to receive commendations for. The fact that Kim taught the past year with this kind of energy and passion while also battling Hodgkin's Lymphoma makes her a true hero. Kim was diagnosed with Hodgkin's on July 16, 2008. She took this news just like any other challenge in her life - head-on and with a positive attitude. Kim is a true fighter. The fact that she came to work each day while undergoing chemotherapy, radiation and many sleepless nights is a true testament to her fortitude. We are all so blessed that Kim won her battle against Hodgkin's on December 8, 2008. If you ask Kim today about the diagnosis and her battle she will answer you in her ever present positive attitude - I am stronger for having this disease...I am even stronger for beating this disease.

She did good, eh? :) If you're interested in donating to our class, go here: http://campus.gpisd.org/mos/GradeLevels/SLC/tabid/680/Default.aspx -there's a link to donate online. Thanks!

Tonight was the Teacher of the Year reception. My whole family was there as well as some of my co-workers! Though I didn't get chosen as a finalist for the district (therefore avoiding the whole interview process...yea!), I'm still beyond honored to be chosen for my school. I'll post pictures of that soon, too.

Speaking of pictures...I posted the ones of my cousin, Lindsey, cutting her hair for Locks of Love in the same album as Shelley's. I also added some more of Light the Night that I finally got from our art teacher. I made a note of where those start so you don't have to weed through all of them.

Okay...that's it until the pictures are taken. Thanks and goodnight!

The long road ahead...

Phew! I've been overwhelmed and extremely busy since starting back to school. I've had 2 trainings (one online and the other was for 2 full days), 3 parent meetings (ARD's), and my teacher of the year portfolio was due. Lots of paperwork. Hopefully after this week things will calm down and I'll be able to think again...

Even though I'm done with treatments, and have been for a month now, I've still got a lot of work cut out for me. I'm still not caught up on my sleeping...I guess catching up on 6 months lack of sleep will take longer than the 2 weeks I was anticipating. My nightmares have not totally gone away...they still creep up more often than not.

Matt and I started walking again last week. Boy...what a blow to my self-esteem. Before chemo, I was able to walk a long time-at a fast pace-and didn't tire easily. I am my mother's daughter. She's the queen of speed walking. My job kept me in pretty good shape as well. I could run the hallway after kids and still not be out of breath. Don't believe me? You should check out the video of me chasing a kid around the whole school. Yeah...caught by school cameras. Funny thing is...he wasn't even in my class! Unfortunately, that's not been so lately. Chemo took it's toll on my body, especially my lungs (thanks, bleo).

The first night of walking (Thursday) I was already out of breath before we hit the end of the street. My heart was racing and I was panting. Seriously. Total walk time=5 minutes. Walked again Friday night, skipped the weekend, started again yesterday. I'm walking every night. Already we've gone farther and longer. Each time I progress a little more. My goal is to be able to walk down the hallways at school without getting winded. I believe that working full-time helped me to not deteriorate as much as I could have. I still remained active throughout treatment. I gained minimal weight (due to steriods) and it kept my lungs and heart working almost up to par.

My next appointment is February 11th with my radiation oncologist. I'll post more about it then. Also, I posted some more tattoo pics. Mainly just the final tattoo pics.

For now, I have a friend going into surgery tomorrow to correct her scoliosis. I know she'll pull through without skipping a beat! Good luck, Megan!!

Thanks for reading and goodnight, folks!