Lots of change and a show.

A year ago today, I was officially diagnosed with cancer.

My life changed forever on that day. I remember the feeling I had when I was told it was cancer.

Two days before, my doctor had called with the results of my surgery. He had said that my lump showed features of Hodgkins lymphoma. I would probably have to do some "chemical treatments" (chemo) and maybe some radiation. I took it well on the phone with him...and then I hung up. I went straight back to the bedroom to tell Matt and I couldn't even get the words out. I finally did and him, being forever calm, said, "Okay...what do we do next, then." He had to call my mom and tell her. I couldn't.

I got my official diagnosis when I saw my surgeon to have my bandages removed. By then, I'd had some time to let it soak in. I remember he had an intern with him that day. When he confirmed that it was, indeed, cancer, the poor intern looked more shocked than I was. He told me a little more about the cancer and treatment and that I'd have to come back to him and get the port put in. He even took one out of a drawer to show me.

I've changed since that day...and I've been through hell since that day. My changes have been emotional and physical. I'm stronger now. I know how short life is and I'm sad that it took this for me to know. I have more scars and tattoos (...from radiation and celebration). I've had less hair, more weight, less weight, dark circles under my eyes, pale skin. And I've emerged to someone completely different than a year ago. But better.

So today I'll celebrate. I'll celebrate being diagnosed...and being alive a year later. Matt and I are celebrating by going to see Rancid and drinking these:

instead of these:

like I was doing last year.

And as my best friend, Jill, writes, "Happy 1 year today...a day to look back and see all that you've accomplished and all the ass you've kicked :D". Well put.

Thanks for reading.