The date is set.

I was going through some pictures and found the one of my bald spot from radiation. Here it is:

Crazy, no?  It's starting to grow back now, though.  The rest of my hair is about an inch or so long now, too.  

I've been anxiously awaiting the date for my next PET scan. Yesterday, when Matt and I got home from a night out with our friends, Brad and Jill, there it was. In the mail. My fate sealed in a little envelope. The date?? April 15th. Tax day. Oh, the irony.

Now it's time for some truth. I'm only saying "truth" because what follows isn't my usual optimistic self. "How do you feel now?" is a question I'm asked quite frequently. Physically, I'm getting there. I'm giving myself 6 months to recoup. Mentally, however, is a different story. I was told...well, ordered really...in December to live my life. I've been trying really hard to do that. But...the thought of the cancer coming back is always in the back of my mind. Sometimes in the front, too. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. I got some relief at the beginning of February when my radiation oncologist released me from his care. I'm hoping to get even more after my PET scan. Just to know it's officially gone. Still.

When I was done in December, I didn't have a PET scan to show that the cancer was totally gone. I was diagnosed cancer-free just after my oncologist examined me and after a blood test. But I don't trust my blood tests. They deceived me before when they never showed signs of cancer prior to my diagnosis. So until I have another scan, it's always there. Haunting me. Every time I'm not hungry or wake up sweating in the middle of the night or have a slight fever, I think "Is this it? Is it starting to happen again?" You can say what you want...call me paranoid, tell me not to worry. But it's there. And it's real to me. I'm around cancer everyday. I hear of it or see it on t.v. or get emails about it or hear from my friends that are still going through it. Friends who had it and now it's come back.

Phew. Well that's done, out in the open and I feel better.  This is like having my own private (free) therapist.  And I need to thank my brother, Bryan, in advance.  My scan is the day after his birthday.  If you've read about my scans here before, you'll know that means no caffeine or sugar 24 hours prior to the exam, so NO BIRTHDAY CAKE.  He told me he'd postpone the cake part of his birthday until the next day after my scan.  Sweet, huh?  Of course, he also told me it would cost me more presents.  A year supply of these okay? 

Thanks for reading.  Hope I didn't depress anyone.  :)  

I promise to do better...

Well...I told you that wouldn't work. Thanks to Jessica who still had faith in me at 10:30 at night. :)

I've been wanting to write, but just can't seem to get my head organized enough to even think about what to write. So I made myself a list. Yes...a list of stuff to write about. Who'd of thunk? So here goes...

I had a wonderful surprise on my last day of radiation and thought I mentioned it. When I went back to check, I realized I hadn't written about it. On my last day of radiation, which was Decemberd 3rd, my husband surprised me with a massage! He told me to keep an hour open and he took me to Starbucks first (yum!) then on to a Swedish massage place. It was a wonderful way to end treatment! Since we're on the subject of Matt, I also got an Edible Arrangement for Valentine's Day! Here it is:

And let me tell you, it was delicious! The chocolate-covered cinnamon sprinkled apples were my favorite. Mmmm....

My appointment with my radiation oncologist was last Wednesday. Trust me...I had really, really good intentions of writing about it then. Really! Anyway, he did a thorough check of all my lymphnodes (even checking the ones in my elbows and knees), said they all felt great, and officially released me from his care! I will (hopefully) never have to see him ever again. No offense, Dr. John. I have a scan in 2 months, and praying that comes back clean, I'll be getting my port out. It will be missed...but I am requesting to keep it. Gross, I know.

In other news, our school raised $2404.82 for the Pasta for Pennies! I was blown away by this. We're a Title I school. This means that a high percentage of our students are on free/reduced lunch. Even with that, this shows how giving and caring our students are. They gave up snack money, chore money, allowances, etc. just to help other people. One girl worked the whole weekend to earn $20 and gave the whole thing. I was so touched by this. Now...on the same topic...my class won! We raised a total of $357.58!!! Go SLC!!!! Now we get a pasta party from Olive Garden. Mmmm-mmm!

We have an email that goes out to our whole district everyday with news from different schools. I made it in! This is what it said:

From the Department of "That's What I'm Talking About!!"
Mike Moseley Elementary school participated in The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Pennies for Patients program and raised $2,404.82! Mrs. Kimberly Riggle, SLC teacher, was Moseley’s honored hero. She was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in July and recently received a clean bill of health from her radiation oncologist! Students brought in huge bags of coins, donated their snack money, and even did chores at home to earn money for this worthy cause. We are so proud of these caring students and staff members. Thanks to Tore Terry, Moseley’s school counselor.

I also had someone from the Special Ed department come out to take my picture with my principal for an article on me in the Special Ed newsletter for Teacher of the Year.

Annnnnddddd...I've also started yoga! I had been walking, too, but I think it's too much too soon. I walk every once in a while, but yoga is what fills my days. I love it! We've been doing it afterschool as part of our wellness program. I even got Mom in there doing the warrior! Go Mom!


P.S. That's not my mom.

I promise to try to do better to update this when I have something to say instead of waiting so long.

Thanks for reading! G'night!

Promises, promises...

I promise to update this tonight...I promise to update this tonight...I promise to update this tonight.  Yeah...we'll see if that works.

Ketchup

Ha! According to my previous blog, I was to post pictures of my bulletin board "tomorrow". Tomorrow...2 1/2 weeks. Eh...it's all the same these days. Anyhow, here you go:

Our school's goal was to raise $1,000. The first week we had about $600. The second week, we were over $1,000. I'm not sure of the total for this week, but the last I heard, we were close to $3,000! Class winners will be announced on Monday. Cross your fingers and wish us luck! Almost all of my kiddos brought money. I was so proud of them when they brought it in. AND they were so proud to pour the money into our jar.

I have so much to write about and, yet, nothing at all. I actually started writing this Friday night. My thoughts are so jumbled lately, I can't seem to get organized enough to write anything coherent. Okay, let's see. I went in and talked to one of our 3rd grade classes last week about lymphoma. It was eye-opening to hear some of the questions they had. I'm not sure I would've known what to ask about cancer when I was 8. What else? A friend of mine at work, Melissa, bought me some Cancer Vixen soap. It's a very interesting story. You can read the story and order products here.

Okay...hmmm...chemo brain has definitely taken effect today. Maybe I'll think of some other things to say and write again later. Sorry for this mess.