Today I am a SURVIVOR

I've waited for this day for 5 years.  Today, I have been in remission for 5 years...I am officially "out of the woods" of my cancer relapsing.  Today, I am no longer in remission.  Today...I am a CANCER SURVIVOR.  I have been humbled by my family and friends who have supported me.  Some even got tattoos!  If you want to read about them, relive my past, or are bored because you're iced in, I've attached the link to each one.  

Family tattoos

Friend tattoo 1

Friend tattoo 2


I'll end by saying that I fought tooth and nail to get where I am today.  I am not who I was 5 years ago.  I am better.  I am stronger.  I am thankful.  I appreciate everyday I get to live.  My life has changed in ways unimaginable to me.  As I write this post, I'm simultaneously watching my husband and son play on the floor.  Who'd of thunk???  I haven't posted on my blog in so long, I've almost forgotten how...so I'll stop writing now.  Thanks for reading.  

Side effects

I've left my blog dormant for a couple of months. Much like my cancer. I feel I have nothing of interest to say anymore since my treatments are done. Who wants to hear about another person's life when they're busy living their own?

But since you're here...

I've done some Light the Night walks again this year. My first of the year was in Minnesota. It was a wonderful experience. To be in a different state, walking with people who had never been before. To see the impact it had on them was fantastic. I walked with my boyfriend, Kevin, and his parents, Chris and Duane. Kevin had been before...October of last year, he walked with my family and me in Ft. Worth. Even to see the change in him was amazing. Last October, I was just the girl he came to visit for the first time. Our relationship has far progressed since then and my cancer has become part of his life also. It affects him now (or is it "effects"? The sad thing is, I even looked up the meaning of both and STILL don't know which one to use! Help me!). We held hands at the first walk. He held my whole body at the second. And I loved it. I posted pictures to the right. Look at them.

The next walk was in Ft. Worth. I had a whole crew there. It was AWESOME!!! Pictures are also posted of that walk. Many, many thanks to Dolly, Jordan, Cheryl, Jackie, Manuel, Edith, Melissa, Kaitlyn, Brad and Jill. And eternal thanks always goes to my family: Bryan, Melony, Jacob and my mom. I was touched beyond belief that ALL of these people took time out of their lives to walk for mine and many others. Several people who couldn't walk donated money. That's just as touching. Thank you to Elaine, Melissa, Dolly, Chris and my mom. AND (oh, I'm not done yet...) my family also walks for me in Colorado Springs. Eternal thanks to Karola, Shelley and Eric too. I had/have the support of so many people during my treatments and even still. I wake up in awe some days.

I started writing this initially to talk about something else. It's a side effect that still lingers around. It's the most prominent side effect I have. Except for my labored breathing, which is sometimes better than others. It's called Chemo Brain. And it's real. Real to me and many others going through (or have gone through) treatment. Read about it here. Makes me want this shirt:

Another thing of recent discovery is the movie Crazy Sexy Cancer. It's a documentary about a woman battling cancer. I loved it!!! It seems to explain so much that I couldn't put in words. If you're interested in more info, go here.

Okay. So I should go. I really should be baking dessert for Thanksgiving since I'll be at Kevin's house until Thanksgiving morning. A much needed break with my much needed, amazing, HOT boyfriend.

Thanks for reading! Good night!

Wow...long time, no write.

Since my last post, I haven't really felt like writing. Everything and nothing has been going on. Too much to write about and not enough time to write. Blah.

So, here's what's been going on:

I had a CT scan on the 20th of April. Everything went well. I still had to drink the glue-like crap, but this time it was spaced out. Thank goodness! One at night, one at 6:30 the next morning. My scan was at 8:30 in the morning. Everything went smoothly, except the tech blew my vein in my arm and ended up having to switch to the other arm. Ah well.

I had a doctor's appointment on the 26th. Kevin was here and went with me. This was a great experience for both us. :) Here's the lowdown on what my doc said--my blood work came out great. As did my scan results, which were clean!! I'm still winning! One thing the scan did reveal is that I have atelectasis, which is "an abnormal condition characterized by the collapse of lung tissue, preventing the respiratory exchange of carbon dioxide and oxygen". It sounds way more intense than it actually is. It was caused by the Bleomycin and one treatment is taking deep breaths. That sounds easier than it is. I've apparently forgotten how to do that.

She also said I don't have to do anymore scans. I'll have blood work and checkups until I reach my 3 year mark, then we'll go from there. Unless, of course, I have symptoms. But I don't plan on having those, so I think we're good. :) After the good news, Kevin took me out to celebrate. We went to the Stockyards and had a blast drinking, eating, listening to music. It was perfect.

Other than that, I've been following my doctor's orders she gave me in December of '08: I'm living my life. I've done so much in the last year I never thought possible. I've flown ALONE, I've traveled to places I've never been. Speaking of that, I plan to continue that trend into the summer months. And I'm lucky enough to have found someone to share that-and everything else life brings our way-with. Kevin, YHMHF. :)

Thanks for reading and goodnight.

Puppy heaven

It is with great sadness and an even heavier heart that I write this tonight. Peanut, our puppy for almost 7 years, passed away at 7 tonight. He was so strong and fought such a hard battle against a monster of a disease. A disease with no known cause, explanation, or real hope for survival. He was special because he was our first dog. Not a family dog, but a dog that made us a family. He was our pride and joy. If you knew him, you know why.

I have so many memories I would love to share. But tonight, I'm feeling greedy and I want them for myself. Maybe some day when it doesn't hurt so much, I'll post some of them. In the meantime, here's an entry about how we got him.

I'm writing this from bed...where one little, loveable pup used to lay next to me. I am officially empty inside.





Here's to Peanut. I love you more than coffee loves sugar, toast loves butter or rainbows love pots of gold. You're my forever. I'll love you always...

Puppy

So my once cancer related blog is now going to turn into a puppy related blog. Here's why:

My puppy, Peanut, is currently in the hospital. He began throwing up on Sunday morning. Matt took him to the 24 hour hospital and they gave him some nausea meds and a fluid injection under his skin called subcutaneous fluid. It's basically a portable IV. I tried finding a picture of it online, but didn't have any luck. He was then sent home. Sunday night was okay, but he didn't want to eat. The doc said that was okay considering the meds. On Monday morning, however, he began throwing up again. Matt took him back in and they did x-rays and blood work. They first diagnosed him with an enlarged spleen and were going to do an ultrasound before surgery. The ultrasound, though, came back negative. He was then diagnosed with IMHA or Immune Mediate Hemolytic Anemia. For a detailed description, you can read about it here. Basically, Peanut's immune system has turned on him and is now attacking his red blood cells. Sound familiar??? Maybe a little like Hodgkin's? Okay...so not the red blood cell part, but the part about the immune system turning on you. Eerie coincidence.

So Peanut was admitted to ICU on Monday and given a blood transfusion and steroids. These are not working like they're supposed to. Now he's on 3 types of meds and has been given several blood transfusions. His PCV is fluctuating between the low teens and low 20's. We received our first bit of "good" news just tonight: his PCV count went up to 23 tonight. And he ate a little.

I wrote this first half last night before my computer crashed on me. Seems that's happening all around me...so to continue...

I called twice before going to bed. He was resting during both calls. The tech said he had eaten a little bit more and they were going to do a blood test at 8am. I called at 6am to check on him and he was still hanging in there. The tech called Matt a little after 8 and Peanut's PCV went back down to 15. I called the on-duty doctor and was told that his prognosis was dismal, that she was afraid he would go into cardiac arrest and that we should head up there immediately "just in case". So, in a panic, I left work and Matt did the same.

So here's where we are now: the chief of staff for the clinic is now his doctor. They put him on oxygen to help what red blood cells he does have. They're not going to do another transfusion because it'll make his immune system work too hard and the by-products of it are harming him. He has some fluid in his lungs, which they gave him meds for and another reason why they put him on oxygen. He was given more steroids and a little pain medicine to ease his stress. Unfortunately, during this process his IV blew again (it happened the first time the other night) and after several attempts at getting it back in, they finally gave up and will try again later. Once that's in, they will start him on plasma, which is the white part of the blood. After that's finished, we're trying human gamma globulin, which you can read about in the above linked article. It's pretty much our last resort, so we're praying it takes and he responds well.

Update @ 1:46- during the writing of this, the doc called and they finally got his IV back in. They put it in a back leg after attempting to put it in his ear. Now the plasma has started (a 3 hour drip) and after will come the globulin (a slow 12 hour drip). Keep your fingers crossed and the prayers coming. We need all the help we can get.

Update: @4ish--Peanut is still on fluids and oxygen. They just finished his plasma and are now starting the globulin. His temperature has dropped quite a bit, so they have him on a bair hugger blanket (which is similar to an electric blanket). It looks like this:

Well...fancy that. Dexter and I really DO have something in common.

Not so long ago, I wrote an entry about "fun facts". Now, while some of you didn't think my facts were so fun, I still found it very interesting. It consisted of notable cases of Hodgkins. I would like to add to that list. I heard tonight that Michael C. Hall, of Dexter fame, is in remission from Hodgkins. Click here to read about it. I find this interesting because I'm OBSESSED with Dexter, as noted here.

Also, it's time again for Pasta for Pennies. Last year, our school raised over $2400 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And we won the pasta party because my class raised the most money! Help us raise money (and win pasta)! Go here for more info.

Thanks for reading! Goodnight!

P.S. I would like to apologize for my last couple of posts. Apparently, I've been a little hyperlink happy. So...sorry. :)

Holy crap...add another.

So I wrote recently about my friend, Tanner, getting a purple ribbon tattoo. And now it's time to add another.

I've known Christine for 3 years. Her son is (somewhat) in my class. We share many things in common and not too long ago tattoos came up. Today, she came in and dropped off some boxes for our class to use. After sitting for a couple of minutes and listening to calendar songs, she called me over to where she was. She then took off a bandage revealing this:

Can you believe it?? I already wrote about feelings of friends vs. family members getting tattoos. What an unbelievable honor!!!! She wanted me to know how I affected them and what an impact I had on their life. And then I cried. So I called Mom down and she cried, too. And now Christine is officially an honorary Booher. Thanks again, Christine! It means more to me than I can express.

Thanks for reading. Goodnight!!